cum goblin

A snip from someone's bio that reads | NO WAR | NO GEN AI | YES YAOI |

Beast mode

lie down on the couch w/ me and grasshopper rub your legs together for the ultimate spell casting

we live in the ruins of a greater civilization

it's valentines day and you know what that means! time for my yearly tradition!!

if you're trying butt stuff for the first time tonight, take it slow and use plenty of lube. it's anal, not a race! just have fun and be yourself (the version of yourself that has something in your butthole) :D

BRITISH SILENT HILL ⚠️ PYRAMID HEAD SEEN IN THE PUB NURSING A PINT OF GUINNESS 🚨

“My squeaking apologies. I’ll keep a better eye on the time in the future.” -me as a little fuckin mouse who was running late for work but decided to mouse post anyway #mouseposting

“anybody mind if i squeak it up in here?” -me as a little fuckin mouse (boundary respecting version)

“squeak squeak squeak!” -me as a little fuckin mouse

Marabou Stork

DOCTOR: Your test results are back and it turns out you’re a fucked up mangy bald bird with a big weird nutsack neck. It’s a pretty bad situation. You should check out the great clown, Pagliacci.

ME (The Great Clown Pagliacci):

tumblr is down tonight because they’re putting all the porn back

at least i think it’s that building. maybe a different one? it’s nearby. who cares

you know what’s so crazy style? the building just to the right of the salesforce tower is sinking and already learning too much and will absolutely topple unless the government intervenes. it’s the millennium tower if you’re horny for more info.
anyway back to my edible

yu gi oh voice: my body places my uterus card in attack mode

it was a great and well thought out video! it also made me realize i had never seen a picture of travis kelce before. very informative video

holy shit pinponpanpon USA tour confirmed!!!!!!!!

i think you let me borrow it and i ate it

thanks babe! ❤️

YouTube video by Allstar Innovations Bumpits (Official Commercial)

requirement for my next halloween costume (HOA cunt in the bible belt)

Take the normal challenge

Be as mental as me and still act calm on the timeline

want 2 do this but not on a website owned by google or have 2 use a google account to log in. maybe i’ll go back to myspace

that sounds terrible and i’m beyond excited for it ❤️❤️❤️ i had everything bagel ice cream once and it sucked hilariously

www.doritos.com/recipes/dori...

I LOVE BRAND WEBSITES

trying to hammer this into my head

GDQ - Put Together A Normal Outfit To Have Dinner With Friends 2:45:13 (DNF)

Q4 is eating me alive and (looks offstage to my handler mouthing words) leaving no crumbs? the fuck does that mean

Everyone I know seems on track for a complete crash out by the end of the month, so that’s good

comedy is a gamble. sometimes the house wins. c’est la piss

D01: The Derfect Crime — Mission to Zyxx Okay let’s see here. Episode descripsh. Something like: Oh hey it’s me, Old Derf! Sure, you know me as an elderly space wizard with the mysterious power of resurrection, a resume stacked with entry le...

Our new series begins NOW!

Buckle your space belts, put on ur headphones & settle in for the first installment of THE YOUNG OLD DERF CHRONICLES, a memoir about an elderly space wizard (with the mysterious power of resurrection) who keeps jucking up.

www.missiontozyxx.space/tyodc/d01-th...