guilty bystander

Waiting for Trump to announce tariffs on Wisconsin cheese.

But how do you feel about the star of my post, Emile? I found the Severance finale an utter disappointment but — briefly — an udder pleasure as Emile took the stage.

Praise for Sam Rockwell’s performance on White Lotus dominated my Threads feed last week, but here comes Emile the Goat to say “hold my hay.”

Trump and Elon hawking Teslas in front of the White House, Hitler proudly inspecting a model of the new “people’s car”. History really does often “rhyme.”

This chart leaves out the Bizarro World from Superman comics.

three panel cartoon by @emilyscartoons.bsky.social … in the first panel one person says "let's not talk about politics any more, I can't bear it" and the other person replies "same." in the second panel, they say nothing. in the third panel, the first person yells "THE THING IS THOUGH" and the second person yells back "THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS"

literally every time I talk to friends

I know I am living in particularly bad times when the most uplifting substacks and podcasts I’ve consumed this past week have had the general theme of “here are some reasons things might be just SLIGHTLY less terrible than you fear.”

I loved DC comics as a kid—Superman, Batman, etc. I feel like I’m living in an inverted alternate universe where the comic book heroes are Lex Luthor and the Joker.

I feel like we’re in the “hanging upside down with smoke outside the windows and the smell of jet fuel in the air” phase, so I look forward to getting down and out!

I feel like we’re in the “hanging upside down with smoke outside the windows and the smell of jet fuel in the air” phase, so I look forward to getting down and out!

Two theories on the surreal “Musk & X visit POTUS” episode:
• “Bottle Episode” Hypothesis – WH visit was a bottle episode in which a simulated reality manipulated public perception.
• “Baby X is a Robot” Theory – Given Musk’s obsession with AI and tech, was X a prototype for a neural-linked android?

🖐️

DOJ disbands foreign influence task force, unit tasked with seizing Russian oligarchs’ asset Attorney General Pam Bondi disbanded a Biden-era initiative targeting Russian oligarchs as well as another designed to combat foreign influence. Task Force KleptoCapture was created in the wake of …

Promises made (to Putin), promises kept, right?

thehill.com/policy/natio...

New home for Musk and his OMP coder kids.

Riviera on Mars for Musk and his OMP Coder Kids.

I don’t want to be a “judgie” older person, but this trend where dogs pose with their tongues out for selfies strikes me as silly, and it’s obvious they are just imitating Gen Z kids.

I have been saying for years that David Lynch should have collected royalties for all the “Lynchian vibes” emanating from so many films and “prestige TV” series in the past ten years. Too much of it emulates the “vibe” without adding anything new or creative, so it’s ultimately not Lynchian.

“Weather Channel Headline and Most Online Reporting Wreak Havoc on Established Traditions of Copy Editing”

Has anyone coined the term “Trump Slump” to describe the stock market so far this year?

That old phrase, “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic,” keeps popping into my thoughts.

Why is it in America ghosts 👻 only speak English?

A supposedly "medium psychic" told me that my dead Irish speaking Gaeilge grandmother was telling her messages to tell me. So I asked her, "Mar sin, labhraíonn agus tuigeann tú Gaeilge na hÉireann?"

She looked at me like I had 3 heads. 🤣😂🤣😂

It seems to represent a range of skeptical/annoyed expressions — I imagine the classes learning about it in Subtitle University and the students make note of it and lazily use it to describe all kinds of facial expressions in their captioning careers. (“The person hearing his theory scoffs.”)

A favorite of mine is the description of a person’s reaction as “he/she scoffs.” I have never used the word “scoff” in my life but in subtitles people scoff several times an hour.

College-age people today are as far removed from seeing those horrors represented in a movie as college-age me was removed from the actual horrors.

I will be 69 in January. Feeling excited as I approach my “Joni Mitchell Years” where my life will be filled with tributes, renewed appreciation from my peers, and fresh recognition as an icon by young people who didn’t know about me before.

“Manifesto” seems like a loaded, dramatic, term to me. Can’t an essay or blog or substack be a manifesto? Thank you for reading my manifesto.

Screenshot of SIMS game with house on fire.

I’m convinced Musk and his bros think of us as a massive SIMS simulation, and they get off on injecting chaos and watching their characters react. I want to start a “We are not your SIMS” movement.

My screen name: At SU (1970s) I wrote a satirical column for the school paper. I was going to call it “innocent bystander,” but I made it “guilty” since I didn’t feel exempt from the things I mocked. Entering 2025, I feel slightly less guilty… but I am still a guilty bystander.

Cover of the book Correct Posture: It's Meaning and It's Results, by Captain Godfrey Rodriguez. Chigago, 1925. Featuring a man in huge trousers.

We've been getting apostrophes wrong since 1925...

A ChatGPT created hat that says we are not sims and shows sims-like characters.

A tip o’ the cap to chatgpt:

Screenshot of SIMS game with house on fire.

I’m convinced Musk and his bros think of us as a massive SIMS simulation, and they get off on injecting chaos and watching their characters react. I want to start a “We are not your SIMS” movement.