goblin

5 bars LTE at hinterland… I’m still a Sam summers hater but this seems nice

Charli remix of boy crazy would heal me

why do thumbtacks come in the most flimsy fucking packaging like they are destined to spill everywhere! I have had it!

Why the FUCK does the blazing saddle have a Rob sand sign posted on the entrance that man doesn’t give a fuck About you

evangelizing (made a man sit down and watch both broad city and fleabag)

need 2 les out at this female firefighter camp or I’ll literally perish

opening l*nkedin is such a jump scare. “girl you took political science classes with who always advocated for justice just accepted a new role with Berkshire Hathaway!” so fucking bleak man

no shovel emoji?

doing the walk of shame thru a full QT during the lunch rush with pants I ripped thigh to ass

picked up a mirror on the side of the road on my way home and my neighbor, who was outside smoking on the porch, gave me $20 for it

10am and I’m sweating balls. Send the fucking flood

me: the pope died
my mom (devout Christian): good

when did everyone get a fucking 4Runner omg

COMMON LOON SPOTTED IN BONDURANT LFGGGG

I love them omg

Found a koozie in the gutter it’s gonna be a good day 🙏

2 windy 2 eat pasta outside 🍝

having Snapchat at all is less than sane but not as insane as what I said

having your Snapchat location on public in the year of our lord 2025 is insane work

my bird of paradise outside rn in this snow like 👁️ 👄 👁️

my coworker with no context: “did R Kelly have a role in space jam?”

holding office hours in the cooler/outdoor gear aisle at wdm Costco until 2:05pm when the pharmacy re-opens, in case any friends or opps want to swing by

type of weather the grinch blew in on

coworker made an office March madness bracket for men’s but not women’s. BRB calling HR

not a single decent thrift store open after 5pm on a Sunday in this so called “metropolis”

legit 3 days ago I was like: 2025 is the year I am going to be so disciplined when it comes to wearing sunscreen and here I am, UV index of 5, sitting in the sun with no spf just vibes and melanoma

Johnnys on court ave playing Determinate by Bridget Mendler… my own fault for being here I guess

dropped my scrunchie somewhere in the st*te c*pitol… rip soldier

Medical tourism for tonsillectomy

me 🤝 bringing a sharpie into the bar bathroom