Dr. David Burkus

Telling people “Don’t come to me with problems—come with solutions” doesn’t make you a better leader.

It makes you an unapproachable one.

“Trust is earned.” Well, not on high-performing teams.
On great teams, trust is reciprocated.
You show up vulnerable, honest, accountable—
And others do the same.
Trust flows when someone chooses to go first.

New manager? Stop oversharing with your old crew.
What used to be bonding now looks like favoritism.
✅ Be friendly
❌ Don’t gossip
✅ Support everyone equally
Leadership isn’t a popularity contest. It’s a responsibility.

Venting to your team about senior leadership?
Feels good—for a moment.
But it lights a fire you can’t put out.
Negativity spreads fast.
And it burns your credibility with it.

The truth? It’s not about being cold.
It’s about being consistent.

When your behavior aligns with your role, people notice.
They trust you more. They rely on you more.
They still like you. They just also respect you.

Don’t cling to “friend first” mode.
Lead first.

You don’t lose friends when you become the boss.
You earn their respect—if you lead them well.

Most new managers fear the shift:
→ “Will they think I’ve changed?”
→ “Will I seem cold?”
→ “Will I lose the camaraderie?”

AI isn’t a tool. It’s not a faster Google or fancier Word doc. It’s your next teammate. And if you treat it like one, your team will outperform the ones who don’t.

Great teams play chess, not checkers.
In checkers, every piece is treated equally.
In chess, every piece moves differently.
Great leaders know their people—and align strengths to strategy.

AI isn’t coming for your job.
It’s coming to your job.
Because jobs are just bundles of tasks—and AI is getting better at doing some of them.
The smart move? Learn to work with it.

We don’t work harder because of a vision statement.
We work harder when someone says, “That helped me.”

Purpose is personal. It's less concerned with "why" and more focused on "who."

Solution: Create new boundaries that reflect your new role.
Be clear. Be fair. Be human.

Leadership isn’t about keeping things the same.
It’s about evolving with integrity.

📊 Ever seen favoritism wreck a team? What happened?

Because suddenly:
• Power dynamics enter the equation
• Gossip becomes favoritism
• Feedback feels personal

📚 Research shows that consistency and fairness are critical to avoiding perceptions of bias.
Even a hint of favoritism can erode team trust.

Why managing friends is hard—and what the research says about fixing it.

✅ Workplace friendships boost collaboration, morale, and engagement.
But ❌ when a peer becomes a boss, those same friendships can backfire.

Pretending nothing changed after your promotion?
That’s not humility.
It’s avoidance.
Talk to your friends.
Set boundaries.
Respect the shift—or risk your credibility.

Here’s what great leaders understand:
Your relationships don’t have to end. But they do need to evolve.

💬 Have you had to manage friends? How did you handle it?

And whether you like it or not, the power dynamic has changed.

When you make decisions—raises, feedback, promotions—they hit differently.

That’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because friendship is built on equality—and that balance just shifted.

Getting promoted changes more than your title.
It changes your relationships.

Especially the ones with your closest work friends.

Suddenly, the people you used to vent to…report to you.
That weekly lunch crew? They’re now your direct reports.

“You don’t have to be cold and robotic with your team.”

But that’s exactly how many first-time managers behave.

They overcorrect.

They go from peer to boss and think professionalism means distance.
But it doesn't mean distance, just boundaries.

Because the tapper hears the full melody in their head.

The listener just hears… tapping.

That’s the curse of knowledge.

As leaders, we’re often tapping out strategies, visions, and goals—expecting others to hear what’s in our heads.

They can’t.

So we have to play the music out loud.

You can’t lead change if you’re the only one who hears the music.

In a famous study, one person tapped out a song.
The other tried to guess it.

Out of 120 tries, only 3 people got it right.

Why?

Want to beat the paradox?

Make your idea:
1. Simple enough to repeat
2. Concrete enough to remember
3. Story-driven enough to believe in

Because adoption isn’t logical.
It’s emotional.

📊 Curious—have you seen this paradox play out on your team?

The researchers coined it the “improvement paradox”:
Even successful initiatives fail to sustain.

Why?
• Initiative fatigue
• Lack of personal benefit
• Loss of ownership
• And the curse of knowledge

The “Improvement Paradox” is real—and it’s costing your team

A major European bank launched 200+ process improvement initiatives.

Within 12 months, half were abandoned.
After two years? Only 1 in 3 remained.

This wasn’t due to bad ideas.
It was due to bad rollout.

The cost of a 1 hour meetings for 8 people it's 1 hour. It's 8 hours.
Leaders: It's okay to call a meeting. But spend that time wisely.

Want to increase team engagement fast?

👉 Start your next team meeting by asking one question:

“Who is served by the work we do?”

Want change that sticks?

✅ Keep it simple.
✅ Make it tangible.
✅ Wrap it in a story.

Because ideas don’t spread by accident.
They spread when they’re designed to.

1. Initiative Fatigue
Another quarter, another buzzword. People stop getting excited and start tuning out.

2. No Personal Benefit
If the change only helps the company, not the person, they won’t invest in it.

3. Loss of Ownership
Top-down mandates kill motivation. People support what they create.

3 reasons your team is ignoring your change initiative

You had a great idea. It got applause in the meeting.
But weeks later, nothing’s changed. Why?

The good news?

You don’t need to be a charismatic visionary.

You just need a clear message that earns attention and sticks.

Leadership is communication by design.

Charisma doesn’t make ideas stick. Design does.

That’s what Chip and Dan Heath found in their research for "Made To Stick"

The best ideas don’t win because they’re the most exciting.

They win because they’re well-crafted.

• Stripped to the core
• Compact like a proverb
• Designed to land