@umarf.bsky.social
УКРАЇНСЬКЕ МІНІСТЕРСТВО ПОЖЕЖНИХ АВАРІЙ РОСІЇ another retired old fart on internet/since before there was internet. fighting GOPiggies. Living Blue in Purple MN CD-8
you're both too kind!
16.09.2025 22:03 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0maybe by "trans" MAGA meant "transactional" as in the sheriff dad getting $100K in exchange for his son?
12.09.2025 16:14 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0wait,
are you calling the Ministry a "twitter celeb"?
if so, i want to buy you a beer! 😂
it's just that i had a bit of free time last night: evening appointment was cancelled late in the afternoon.
12.09.2025 11:36 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
This is not a drill!
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
nobody does it like SNL does it!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
TLDR: i like it just fine
03.04.2025 22:58 — 👍 9 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
For MAGA, English lesson numbero dos:
03.04.2025 13:32 — 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Before anyone starts clutching his pearls, two things:
- no, it cannot be seen in the photos, but such is its nature
&
- here's Monty Python teaching both, a) the value of not being seen AND, b) smegma, in one of my favorite skits
t.co/FDAoXJddUr
UMARF Public Service:
Teaching #MAGA English Vocabulary:
Today's word is smegma
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires hereby announces Tax Liberation Day for the following people:
Mrs. UMARF - 25% - retaliatory
Son of UMARF -50% - backdated
Followers - 100% - it's about time you fuckers pay
Blockers - 25% bonus payment to unblock
TLDR: CNN now projects elon musk to return to destroying $TSLA & Twitter full time.
www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/p...
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
Great news from Moskvabad where "a legendary 🇷🇺hockey player, 5X national champion, Igor Dorofeyev has been arrested for public masturbation at the 🇷🇺National Children's Library"
Traditional 🇷🇺 Sport:
news.ru/moskva/legen...
pic.x.com/KBr8xGhl0S
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
TLDR: Elon Musk claims Cybertruck is still alt right.
fortune.com/2025/03/14/e...
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Lukashenko offers trump rare earth minerals
25.02.2025 23:47 — 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1Resolute Desk!
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
that's the LEAST of it, imho.
09.02.2025 12:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
08.02.2025 20:38 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
& nobody there had the foresight or planning to consider basic human needs in the shelter itself. i mean, a port-a-potty...nah...no need!
30.01.2025 11:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
TLDR: everything 🇷🇺touches turns to shit
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
stole this from Liam Nissan on twitter
29.01.2025 17:48 — 👍 17 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0any shy #fellas,
you can use this as an icebreaker at parties.
a printout is good for a free admission for one to a #NAFO sex tunnel (if that's still a thing; nobody tells gramps anything)
tyvm @vylistalo.bsky.social for pinging me on this
thank you, my friend!
it's a great find.
@swegringo.bsky.social @umarf.bsky.social
Champagne Supernova! 🍾🇬🇪🥂🎉
bsky.app/profile/anna... 🚌
Via @annagvarish.bsky.social
