Gooner says what now?? 🥰

Meanwhile, I still haven’t seen the PowerPoint 😭

I used to be self conscious about how small my hands are, but then I remember how many people I have fisted, particularly for their first time being fisted, and then it’s nothing but gratitude 💖

The only thing better then telling your partner he can’t cum for three weeks is finding out that the three weeks happens to end on nine/eleven- N E V E R FORGET

The fact that both of my partners semi-regularly dress like sexy priests is truly incredible. I have a type. It’s not daddies, it’s Fathers.

Just licking desserts off all of my friends fingers at the bonefish grill… more like BONER-fish grill, amirite?

I love cucks

Woke up filled with the deepest gratitude for the incredible play partners I have 🖤 and cum 🖤

a man in a red shirt is smiling and saying oh yes there will be blood ALT: a man in a red shirt is smiling and saying oh yes there will be blood

I’m so excited for this weekend 🥹🖤

“I’m not in chastity, I can cum whenever I want… it’s miserable!”

Wait I’m confused

Did he have roommates and did the sheets stylistically go with the rest of the decor or did they stick out?

Depends how hot the guy was and what size the bed is

The best part of waking up is anilingus in your cup

“You’re such a hateful bitch”
“Is that any way to talk to someone with a urethra as big as mine?”

In THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE BIGFOOT IS REAL I AM GOING TO KISS HIM HE WILL BE MY LOVER I WILL BE THE LITTLE SPOON ME AND BIGFOOT WILL FUCK AND YOU CANT STOP US

Went to take a picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign in front of someone's house and only after opening my camera did i notice the numerous little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

Not a walk of shame but a strut of slut 💅

I discovered two new kinks at camp and that’s pretty fantastic

Ok. this is officially my first time tenting in the rain. This is also the longest I’ve ever stayed in a tent period. Turns out? I kinda love tenting.

Please yell at me to stop packing so many clothes to camp where I will be spending the majority of my time naked or close to it????

I can’t, if I was close enough to your face to say this to it, my face would be buried too deep between your thighs 🖤

too many responsibilities. not enough time to bury my entire face between your thighs.

I can’t wait to fall asleep on your beanbag snuggling this 🤩🤪

Look at me, so normal and well adjusted…. No one has any idea that I had an entire (HUGE) fist inside me last night.

Don’t dream it, be it ✨

Me: Yes I love being stabbed repeatedly with needles for funsies!!
Also me: AHHH A cute but terrifying BEE!!! Please don’t sting me!!!!

Changed my outfit on Saturday night and got the best compliment of my life: “how did you just go from slutty goth femboy to gay 80s biker Daddy in less than five minutes?”
#maybehesbornwithitmaybeitsHRT

I know I have next to no followers, but if you happen to see this- please donate &/or boost it.

Brb renaming my p*ss hole to “unholy drink cloaca”

Fuck! That is devastating. I am so sorry that happened. Crossing all my fingers and toes it comes back to you 😫