Laura Fabius

the masculine urge to carry a tote bag thrown over your shoulder instead of through the arm hole

You’re in a heist movie when the taxi starts driving before the automatic door closes

A tool belt is an open face purse

Me: *reads name tag* Hi, nice to meet you Garcia

Garcia: It’s pronounced like “Marsha”

Catch the bouquet!

[throws edible arrangement]

Soffe shorts is to Lululemon what Blockbuster was to Netflix.