Mallory

I legit call my tamagotchis blue stock chips

television is no friend of mine

A Dr Pepper fixes everything

Torturing my husband bc he told
me he didn’t know who Weasel Walter is

Appropriate time to mention skullz?

It was a local paper that had a print missed connections section, ran the comics Maakies & Red Meat, had savage love, event dates. Definitely used it to harass my crushes in HS

Miss reading Red Meat and looking at the classifieds in Punchline

The worst part of unraveling everything that comes with that is realizing you’re actually just an object to certain kinds of people, to actually look at it through their eyes means viewing yourself temporarily as less than human

I went to taco bell earlier too. I always get a cheesy bean and rice burrito with potatoes added + grilled

I fucking love Worms

RIP Diet Cherry Coke, I dream of you every day

Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself, “what are these fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table?”

Republicans loved gun control when it stopped black panthers from doing armed cop watches

YouTube video by RabbitFilmMakerTV The Last Halloween [1991, HQ]

1991, it would air on ABC on Halloween for a few years afterwards. I was obsessed with it, can’t say if it stands up for people who didn’t originally watch it but it’s here if you wanna check it out

The four aliens from The Last Halloween, a Hanna Barbera produced Savage Steve Holland made for tv Halloween film about martians who crash land on earth, searching for some sweet sweet “coobi”

Gotta relearn how to dryhump

Nathan Fielder making my underwear disappear instantly

Nothing stopping you from hopping on

Instead of wearing a bra, sometimes I just wear a short guy around like a back pack while he cups my jugs

I hate I thought this bc now I can’t stop thinking about that Scooby meme where he says Ruh roh rig raturals

Air Bud: Big Naturals

lol sound the alarm on the holy mountain

What church did you go to growing up?

Holy shit, my mom too. She was obsessed with that guy Sid Roth who has a radio show called “It’s Supernatural!” when I was a kid, and made me go to Passover at Tik Vat multiple times

Cinebistro? The AMC in Midlothian is pretty fucking loud. I saw both Dune movies there

There are a lot of people in our country with immature defense mechanisms, whose feelings are what they think reality is, and it’s really true on both sides. How they feel doesn’t have shit to do with what’s actually happening but they don’t know that

I’ve never had an issue, it’s not like Dolby atmos or whatever but I feel like it’s comparable to short pump or the regular theaters at bowtie. Plus there are true nerds who always work there, talking about nerd shit behind the concession counter, the way god intended. $5.99 tickets on Tuesdays

I know you do and I appreciate it

Everything I need to feel horrifically fucked up is inside me all the time