I hate the fact this post has given me the urge to have a packet of crisps...

Wouldn't it have been likely that the parent would have mentioned it in the context of cooking the turkey? I dont think even the dumbest teenager wouldnt have questioned a request to 'open the front door'.

'Wedding photos' imply the formal ones after the ceremony rather than throughout the day/evening.

Unless she wasnt in at all any because the baby was feeding all day in which case I feel sorry for her boobs and more understanding of her general bitterness!

I see both POV's- yes, feeding the baby takes priority, but it can also take a while (dependent on age of the baby) and wedding photos are often run on a fairly tight schedule. Just one of those both parties should chalk up to 'that's life'.

Although the rejoicing at divorce does say a lot...

I'll be honest, im not really a fan of going to other people's houses after the 2am kick out at a club. They're usually low energy affairs where everyone wishes they were in bed, aside from the 1 bloke who doesnt know when to stop drinking and will be diagnosed as an alcoholic within a decade.

To be fair, there's a reasonable chance the actual drug dealer ruined plenty of people's lives.

Read it again

They won't, but they won't know how to figure out a lot of the stuff in the house. Out house has a hidden stop tap behind a removable tile. Wouldn't know a thing about it if the lovely previous owners hadn't left a file of all the instructions for the heating etc

If you listen to A LOT (your words) just pay for Premium. You'll listen to A LOT more when you dont have to listen to ads in-between each one (and in between every 4 songs if you use it for music) so becomes solid value.

I mean, it's not universally hated (good speeches can be a real highlight) but you had the wedding you wanted and nothing wrong with that, even if some guests may have been a bit surprised at the early finish!

Yeah fuck em! Thinking theyre so special with that fancy chair with wheels they go round on and thinking they should have the larger and separate toilet! Even has a long decorative red cable dangling from the ceiling.

It probably was, which is why he needed you to do it for him

Or maybe theyre dumbing it down for public consumption

Its a popular figure of speech, Knobhead

Same here. And given there's usually a bit of a queue to get back on it probably saves 30 seconds at most

Fair enough!

He's not 'mad' at the coat, thats just how Brits talk sometimes

Having a takeaway once a month? I think he'll be fine.

They asked for some as they know youre lying. No one actually asks for vegetables off a mate...

Yes because someone moving in is efficient enough to clear 37 moving boxes on moving day. Everyone knows you dont finish emptying them until you've been in at least 5 years

Not as miserable as the person who gets enjoyment out of this.

The fact she considered Nandos (which to be fair is the most overrated fare ever- they just had a genius marketing dept a decade ago who realised the power of 'influencers' early on) something she needed to be 'chill' about tells us all we need to know about her immediately.

Sounds bollocks, like the current guests would be stood by the door at the precise moment this moron rocked up singing 'See the little Goblin'

I suppose "Das Booty" would also work

How do you know? I'd argue that that kind of outside the box thinking at such a young age might be a sign of it in an older age

Oh yeah its shitty overall- hence on Fesshole.

Yeah but surely hassle of having to do this, and it is a hassle, is worth more than the few quid he'd save by not donating?

I like the idea of him rinsing some Thatcher fan for £95 especially when that money goes to charity.

Was the seller called Boycie?

Muppet. Number of times I've not gone at roundabout because I thought a car was continuing round, only for them to turn down the road im trying to come out of. If they'd indicated that they were doing that then I could have gone...

Do you get it yet?