Circe

i have no halloween plans this year. admittedly its kind of my choice cuz i dont want to haul ass to any of the zillion raves or concerts i could be at. i do feel a little bad about it.

i need to be a fully fake anime woman with an aching plastic hole and swollen fake tits.

i dont want bottom surgery i dont want ffs i want kigurumi mask latex suit balloon tits and built in stroker for my captors to insert themselves smooothly

if something happens to her im gonna blame myself. i shouldnt, but i will. sick to my stomach thinking about it tbh.

alternating between being very upset with someone and being extremely worried for her safety.

i dunno if this feeling really aligns with my values but right now i wish for all rapists to burn like vampires in sunlight.

it really hurts deep inside when i remember that some people arent ever gonna understand how much pain im in, the weird crappy hair triggers and all that.

its "i really wish i hadnt been raped countless times" o'clock

why can't i have a chill relaxed social life without drama (remembers who i am and what im like) ohhhhhhhhh right

speaking as a woman who has been very not normal and not okay many many times. can people just be normal around me please????

i wish i had the kind of triggers where i could just tell someone to not trigger me and we're good. but like idk. a lot of good communication triggers me because it will remind me of times i was screamed at and like idk what im supposed to do with that.

i mean im thinking about it. but i couldnt be bothered to imagine acting on it. thats pretty good actually

im like narrowly avoiding doing digital self harm RN but at least the temptation to do uh analog self harm isnt there at the moment. thats progress

im not horny at all

it is both desireable and attainable for me to give every woman i know a blowjob

right when u think she's about to pull out she pauses and says "just one more thing..."

nobody should hurt my friends imo

bad mental health today

imagine if i had ever had a therapist that knew how to talk to me about this so i could talk about literally anything other than reliving the times i was SAed

i genuinely do think that my parents' transphobic anxieties about whether i want bottom surgery has kind of blinkered my ability to totally trust my convictions in what i want for my body which actually makes regret a way more likely outcome! fuck!

my cock is inconvenient to neutral with a partner but its very pretty and i really like touching myself. i hate how it feels walking down the street but like. ugh what if i miss masturbating the way i do now. that really could hurt.

its so stupid but after jacking off tonight i was hit with a ton of insecurity about my bottom surgery plans. what if it doesnt feel like this anymore :,(

married behavior

TIL Australian shipping is very cheap

do not EVER let me go on ebay while im jacking off i do NOT need more doujins

denying the pleasure of full immersion... a kind of sadism only an audio engineer could envision

my favorite souls speedrunner on youtube hasnt posted a video in months... checked her profile to see what she's been up to, immediately greeted by a lovely photo of her erect cock. thank you trans women.

Ive got mommy issues tbh

everyone really really likes me. gosh everyone LIKES me SO MUCH. some people even lust for me. when am i gonna be loved, fuck.

nobody is gonna love me the way i need to be loved.