The Real Clawful

Am I the shell of hell or the lobstrosity of generosity?

I'm doing some PC admin, as one of the only remotely literate henchman this often falls on my chitinous shoulders, pushing on through this cold Monday in Snake Mountain. Really want to go out and order a coffee at the local Retile Men barista. It's a pretty dangerous trip for a caffeine hit though.

And now I find that Hordak is actually using the spare bedroom as a 'lab' to develop his own version of the eyeball bastard from Alien Earth. This one also has a retractable bellend for 'lols'.

This 'lab' is next to my bedroom...

Fuck this, I'm off. I wonder if they'll have me at Grayskull.

Whilst I click 'like', my sentiment is actually 'why would you resurrect this thing, nobody needs to have their memory of that refreshed....'

Alien: Earth is great and all, but it's hard to be scared of something on the TV when infinitely more terrifying parasites fall out of Merman on a daily basis. Fortifying my room has become art form in survivalism.

Woke up in what I initially took as a hot bath this morning. Quickly realised it was actually a gigantic saucepan and 'hot' = slowly raised to near-boiling.

When I find the bastard responsible, they will be yeeted from the highest point of Snake Mountain. Once I shed this pink shell.
#IAmStillHere

That uncomfortable feeling when a space princess laser-blasts your head.

Hope you've had a good Christmas. We've spent 36 hours freeing Skunko from the chimney after his annual Santa Claus stunt went catastrophically badly. Again.
You never get used to the smell. His panic makes it worse... I'll be in the bath until NYE now.

Actually, I'm not sure they know what a 'cult' is.

Merman has one on Wednesdays. They meet at the aquarium and get all kinky. I think a Wednesday cult is a great idea as long as you nip his shit in the bud.

You already have a cult. We meet on Tuesdays.

Multiple matches on Skysports+ tonight. (Yes, we watched football.)
So an afternoon battle royal awaits, with the victor getting the viewing rights in the main cavern.
Merman is going to get such a kicking shortly.

Gonna tell the little crustacean kids this was Mossman.

This is why we don't let Skeletor do interviews anymore.

Faint, damning praise.
And you in turn are not as impossible to work for as Hordak.

I'm fully aware that things would fall apart without me. I'm not going in any pot.
Besides which, I'm the flipping cook as well.

I happen to know for a fact that Skeletor has an acute Carebear allergy and could never be stood so close to one. The impression is very convincing though. He really does sound that obnoxious.

*Snake Mountain.
Apologies, I must be hungry.

You are a wiser person than most of Snaks Mountain. 🦞

The truth is far more embarrassing. Trust me.

Until you got a Clawful figure...? Right?

I resemble that remark.

That's just how he talks to his cat.

Snake Mountain will soon be restored to it's former glory.
Crucially, I will no longer be sharing an outside toilet with Beastman, Merman and... Skunko.

Soon.

I hate it after midnight around here. Especially on one of Beastman's 'Naked Fridays'. He starts early and goes full frontal for 24 hours.
FML.

But the only one who agrees to go into your room is Merman. He says yes to everything.

I was once dispatched to destroy every copy of 'that' game.
'He-Man propaganda' according to the guy upstairs.

It was tedious as hell. In the end I sat and played Pitfall in a Woolworths for a week and lied to the boney guy when I got back. What a time.

You never shut your bedroom door, the whole of Snake Mountain knows you're horny.

Yes it's me.... your fav 80s television adversary.
I'm nicer in real life.