Bug

I made the PERFECT blueberry crumble cheesecake! Is so yummy. Fiancé is gifting one to his boss and I can’t wait to hear what they think!

(I cried while telling her I was scared I was gonna lose her because other therapists have told me they can’t deal with me)

Ugh my therapists mood this morning made me feel like she hated me and the whole session felt in-genuine and of course it’s the day I bring up BPD to her..I hate this. Now I have to wait till next week to even see her again but I just want to cancel now and find another therapist

I had to switch to a disc because the way my anatomy is but I like the disc so much better!

It’s okay..financial burden just suck so much. I bought them a long time ago and have never worn them because I wanted to keep them in perfect condition for that specifically but we need the money so bad

Having to sell the shoes I was saving for my wedding is so sad :/

It’s so so bad and it’s literally only gonna get worse in the next couple years I’m sure so I’m so tired 😭 I’m sorry you guys are going through it too

My dog got attacked and we’re so fucking broke 😭 i literally can’t do this anymore. My tires went out today too and we had to get new ones so we’re looking at over 2000 dollars of debt when we’re barely scraping by with our toddler…I want to die!!

Shrimp curry for dinner. The whole bowl is 811 and it has chickpeas, carrots, and sweet potatoes! It’s really yummy

After doing some research…I have found out people with EDs often have higher cholesterol because of the stress of being malnourished and it COULD be from my binging but it could also be from malnourishment sooo who knows…idek anymore

Want to binge so fucking bad but apparently my cholesterol is so fucking high because of my fucking binging so what the fuck I’m gonna kill myself

This and I had hot chocolate earlier! Puts me at 430 cal today..going pescatarian again

might relapse..idk..who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just want to dieeeeee I’ve been binging way to fucking much 😭

Started my period so I’ve just been eating “normally” to prevent binging because I usually restrict but then get caught in a b/r cycle…I’m so sad because I got down to 189 and then started my period so I gained and ugh. I hate my life

I really thought mine had changed after he literally witnessed me bleed out and almost die after giving birth but I guess “money and racism” is more important even tho he’s literally Hispanic with immigrant parents…I don’t get it..I think his racist friends from highschool were the issue but idk

It’s so hard since we have a child together and I rely on him financially…I was really trying back then to “not let politics affect my relationships” but like..it does and now I have no idea what to do and I can’t even talk to him about it because he just is fully brainwashed

please block me if you support trump

I thought it wasn’t 100% until every single ballot was counted?! There’s still tons and tons of mail in ballots that need to be counted I’m sure that’ll take at least a day or two that could cause some states to flip…why is everything so quick to say he won..?

My first pregnancy was ectopic and after giving birth I hemorrhaged and almost died..I’m so worried I won’t have access to the healthcare I need in order to stay alive if I get pregnant again…I’m so stressed I’m about to cry myself to sleep. I’ll see you guys all tomorrow ❤️‍🩹

Thank the gods for stress, coffee, and goodwill. Took a little walk and pooped all the binge weight out lmao

Also binged and gained the exact same amount 😭

Just fucking kidding…it literally sent me into a binge seeing my cals higher that what I’m used to so 🙄 back to what I was doing and just being better at fucking restricting. This is annoying

Upping my intake a little AND no longer doing omad because my therapist brought up I’m probably binging because my body is probably trying to “make up” for restricting while doing omad so I’m gonna try eating smaller meals during the day

I want to so bad but I’m so addicted to it. Everytime I try to stop it lasts like 2 days 😭

Ahh okay, this sucks. I lost so fast before I got pregnant and then gained it all back and then some during my pregnancy and now I feel like I’m losing sooo slowly

How long did it take you to get to your cw? We have a similar sw and height! (If you don’t mind me asking)

What is everyone’s cal limit? I feel like 900 is already so high and I’m still binging or getting to urge to so often 😭

Everytime I overeat in the slightest my fiancé knows I’m spiraling into a binge but instead of being kind he looks at me like he’s disappointed and a failure

Not seeing the scale go down (or worse - seeing it go up) triggers binges so bad, so I think I need to take a break and start doing weekly weigh ins..I’m just so addicted to weighing and it’s part of my daily routine