RI Smith

I really hope you made the answer some lyric from that god awful Alan Jackson song.

The happiest day for everyone but one person in the house.

They thought it was a different kind of dirt.

Someone remembered that "read all instructions before starting" test from 3rd grade and fed it to their chatbot girlfriend. Science.

Honestly, I expected her to plagiarize someone substantially dumber.

"So what we are proposing is that everyone just route all of their traffic directly to the US government. We promise that we will use this information responsibly."

They were flying away from New York to trick everyone into thinking they weren't going to attack the World Trade Center. Again. Again.

It's down there somewhere, let me take another look.

"The good news is we just raised $100 billion. The bad news is that we need 30 times that to survive the next five years." The market thinks this business plan is worth $800 billion.

Somehow, Ben Solo died

I don't know who this person is or who he's talking about, but I'm not sure they're any more familiar with academic discipline.

Amazingly frustrating when you argue that the docket isn't publicly available to you, as a journalist, because you're 1300 miles away and access is limited to in person terminals and the magistrate judge just replies, "see, your need is met because it's publicly available."

Well, of course. You don't pardon your drug dealer just to keep him locked up.

You can't have a heist movie without the nerd who spends way too much time on the internet downloading things.

Tired: vouchers for private schools

Wired: IOUs for private schools

It's not gay if I'm only fucking your thighs and butt cheaks (penetrative anal sex wasn't the most common, but it certainly happened)

Even the most lax voter ID laws require presentation of a non-picture voter registration card that has your name. Even by the terms of this silly analogy, he loses.

I assume after he farts in them

I want to do something that my agency is supposed to do. I write myself a warrant saying I can arrest someone for breaking that rule. That's it.

Sometimes I think doctors are getting revenge on being asked nearly verbatim questions to the ones they answered in their interrogatoties by making me fill out paperwork at the appointment I submitted a few days before the appointment.

pretty stunning chart

The first thing I saw here was some tech bro arguing that he needs AI because it makes him feel like he is accomplishing more, so that's enough bluesky for today.

Trudy Wiegel in a wedding dress attended by the other sherriff's deputies at the prison. Not pictured: Craig, the Truckee River Killer

Wiegel and Craig

Blocking quote posts of Madeleine Albright biting her lip while looking at someone's package is unamerican.

This is literally the story of the Graham cracker.

a train with purple smoke coming out of it and a building in the background ALT: a train with purple smoke coming out of it and a building in the background

Where we're going, we don't need holes.

You see, US history begins in the Caribbean, which is why we are blowing up anyone who has a boat there.

a man is blowing flames out of his mouth while playing a musical instrument Alt: Till Lindemann is blowing flames out of his mouth while playing guitar. Because fire.

They're Rammstein coded