Dr Maybe

Jet Set Willy was my favourite ZX Spectrum game that was also a euphemism for gonorrhea.

Dulcolax, Hun x

There aren't that many things I'm great at, but as autumn rolls in I remember that my cardigan game is strong

As a socialist at heart I think inheritance tax should be much much higher.

I'd honestly be really happy for the government to take up to 95% of my attachment issues, alcoholism and imposter syndrome.

There's an Australian guy on this train.

What's that I hear you ask?

Is it one of the quiet and introverted ones who noticeably lack confidence in their opinions on matters?

No, no it does not appear he's one of those ones.

All evidence so far points strongly to him being the other kind.

"...that's why Masterchef - and the fucking BBC - can do one. I shall withdraw from this cruel arena, to spend more time with my family..."

If insufferably entitled wealthy boomers are your thing I can heartily recommend an afternoon in Winchester

I'm exactly the same. I've been diagnosed with post viral fatigue and the GP said I need to keep physically and mentally active but only at 70% of capacity.

Which is an interesting challenge being as I only really operate effectively in 5th gear or neutral 😂

I do t think you'll be able to help yourself 😂😂😂

Shall we form an orderly queue now?

If the mums at my daughter's school are anything to go by then this summer's big look is Amy Winehouse On Cuprinol

Bleak

I saw a band the other day and the youthful and chiseled lead singer said "This is one from back in the day."

There are things in my fridge that are older than him

New law: if you're under 34 you're not allowed to come on to the internet and complain about being old. The constant need to create content has people throwing authenticity in the bin

If James Spader married Michael Mann twice then divorced him to marry George Friend, Stewart Lee, Bill Nighy, Raymond Burr and Paul Rudd before reverting back to his original double-barrelled surname, he would be Spader-Mann Spader-Mann Friend Lee Nighy Burr Rudd Spader-Mann.

Forgot to buy ketchup so my 11 year old daughter has been forced to, in her own words, "rawdog a bacon sandwich"

So, errr yeah, thanks internet, I guess....

The pope is currently being played by Robert Prevost, who thankfully looks a bit like the last bloke who played him, so it’s not too disconcerting.

Seems strangely appropriate that 6 months after millions of Americans elected a predatory sex offender, 133 predatory sex offenders have just elected an American.

Vatican City about to get trade deal, well played

The rise of modern country music and the collapse of society can't just be a coincidence.

Netflix's Conan O'Brien Mark Twain Prize special is an absolute joy from start to finish.

And the finale was simultaneously ridiculous, insane, beautiful, insightful and very very necessary.

Thank god for comedians because holy shit we need them more than ever right now.

I've never cursed a heat wave so strongly in my life 😂😂😂 x

First day of 5k A Day In May in aid of The Campaign Against Living Miserably

If you can support or share please do www.justgiving.com/fundraising/...

I'm off to have a coronary incident.

Donald Trump reminds me of that terrible president America had 4 years ago.

Tim Dillon's new netflix special is fucking exceptional

We all have an emotional support dead famous guy and who he is says a lot about you.

On the train to work.

Most of the passengers seem to be elderly Germans and Americans.

Train travel seems quite the novelty to the trans-atlantic cohort.

An elderly gent with a mid-western accent just shouted "All aboard"

Pretty bleak morning so far

I see Jesus is trending. Hope he’s ok.

I wish more people could see it like that x