stéfan

He has (had?) a heart? Somehow I highly doubt that. One less misogynist & transphobe in the world.

If you wanna know who the actual groomers in avg communities are...watch pretty much the entirety of Chris Hansen's career since c.2003.

Know how many 🏳️‍⚧️ predators he's caught in 20+yrs? ZERO.

How many cis men? Hundreds.

Don't do drgz, kids.

Friend: if you do the thing, I'll haunt your ghost w CATS[musical] 24/7 on a vuvuzela until I join you when I croak
Me: you don't even believe in ghosts
F: Or vuvuzelas
M: wait but living people can't haunt dead people. That's not how haunting works
F: fuck should I know? I don't believe in ghosts

My socials have been very treatment heavy lately & less on music...but I had a tiny musical success yesterday. 30ish mins on 2 horns. Haven't been able to switch in over a year comfortably and more than I've been able to play without a breakdown most of the time. I'll take it.

It's Heinlein. Inside cover/dust jacket was triggering (I'll leave it at that) so reading it's been on my tablet & back to the shelf it went. If something feels uncomfortable I try to adjust and it wasn't worth the flashbacks at my safe spot. Glad it's getting warmer so I can go more.

One of the best things I do for my MH is bring a paper book to a very abandoned wooden river pier & read until dusk. It's my escape the world spot. I've read several the past few weeks & in the middle of re-reading my fave. 1st x since right before..bookmark was still in my copy after almost 10yrs.

amerikkka is the place immigrants come for a better life... only to die poorer than the countries we came from.

#fafo

Someone today said 'if you're not scared, you're privileged'

They're Jewish.

If the regime is claiming to not be #nazis, why are they behaving as such? Confiscating documents, raiding cities, forcing people into hiding or to flee, disrupting lives for minorities, deportations. Guess who else did that. It didn't end well.

Wake up.

Sometimes, the only solution is cracking into my emergency freezer ouzo hoping that my people's very strong water is enough to knock me out. Don't really drink much, but fuck it up is down& sideways is purple. Maybe going to IOP still drunk will finally get my supports to hear me screaming for help.

There are more than two genders. The felon's statements are factually incorrect.

To anyone accusing me of 'collecting' marginalized identities..lol really? I was unfortunately born with all of them except the disabled part, which was forced on me via attempted homicide. So yea, f off.

Hating or fearing your neighbors is the most #unamerican thing anyone could possibly do. This isn't the country my family came here for.

Every time a doc asks me who the current POTUS is, I will defiantly respond "a fucking fascist". And since I live in Philly, that will be the only acceptable answer.

I see my neurologist tomorrow.

Monday is my 10 year #HRT birthday. I'm pretty pissed to not be celebrating it in DC inaugurating the 1st woman president with a bunch of queer musicians. #fucktrump #fuckfascism #queerandPROUD

I love how this map includes Philly & Pittsburgh in the America part. The rest of my state truly is dumbfuckistan.

Two concerts back-to-back today..aannnnndddd GO!

Needing labs with a 12hr fast isn't great for an eating disorder. Going 16hrs without food because of it and prob won't eat anything today.

Woke up to the news of another friend gone. Bipolar disorder can honestly get fucked. I'm so sick of this damn illness taking people so young.

But my head is flying and I want it to stop. Just want to sleep. Too damn old for these fucking brain chemicals.

Stoned 2.30am thought: what if I'm flying higher than I have in years is bc it's being extra fueled by a bunch of life-changing shit like being able to see clearly again? I usually cycle through around NYD from holiday musician schedule, but took my 1st break ever & didn't do much this year. Fuccckk

Also just had my last rehearsal before a concert & that manic energy made a really long/high sustained shimmer marked at pp actually ok for the 1st time all season. Amazing what blacking in & out could do for my playing. Fuck this illness, but there are some +s. Can't focus enough to hate myself 🤷🏼‍♂️

Who needs cocaine when your early warning signs for mania are largely ignored & you're now flyyyyying? #bipolar #whoneedssleep?

I've decided to primarily switch to they/them pronouns. 20yrs ago I always knew I'd revisit when I was around a safe enough community to come back out..& I have that now. The most affirming & diverse chosen family I could've never imagined having. I'm a lucky bastard. I celebrate 10yrs on T in a wk.

One of my least favorite mania symptoms is this uncomfortable urge to just aimlessly pace around my tiny apt. For hours. And still not manage to be tired enough to sleep. I paced for at least 3hrs straight before I realized it. And I still don't feel like I even need sleep. I hate this illness.

I can't believe this vile woman is allowed to spread conspiracy theories from such a place of power.

If you look up jail deaths and go state by state you will see a common thread. Many are young adults (pre trial) who die or are over age 45-48 who die medical neglect. Neglect that is “mysterious” so they claim.

So Gen Z already tried to reinvent myspace & now porridge? Awww