JP Stewart

I sort of miss when it about a small town cop struggling to solve a case, a group of kids investigating a supernatural mystery, and Winona Ryder slowly losing her mind trying to find her lost son.

When did it get so big, loud, and silly?

a man with long hair is holding a book and says `` welcome to rivendell , mr . anderson '' . ALT: a man with long hair is holding a book and says `` welcome to rivendell , mr . anderson '' .

I can't explain it but canonically in my head I expected Elrond to say

"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson."

A fellow Aliens appreciator, I see! 😅

6 7 is annoying.

But 6x7 = 42.

And 42 is...

Oh shit.

It's Christmas. My family and I are annoyingly on the same page about most things so we don't really argue... so

I think Aliens is objectively the best film ever made.

Terry Pratchett might just be, pound for pound, the world's greatest ever writer.

Die Hard is a fucking xmas movie.

Fight. Me.

a man standing next to an alien in a dark room with the words charly tic tac at the bottom ALT: a man standing next to an alien in a dark room with the words charly tic tac at the bottom

The Christmas Eve film is E.T.

It's always a bit wobbly to introduce your kids to films you grew up with. There's a worry they'll have dated or won't click with the young'uns.

Oh no no. You'd be pleasantly surprised how quick 7YO and 4YO locked the fuck in with this story.

This will be special.

I'm not even sure I saw it. No cultural footprint at all. Maybe it doesn't even exist.

Yea famously there was this little film called Heat and it had two pretty big time actors and characters in it and theres this scene where these characters finally sit down and talk and do you know what it was ruined because they just GO TOO LONG. At least 4 pages. Very annoying. Amateurish really.

Eventually they'll fill the whole place up, armed to the teeth, and at that point the terminators not even going to be able to find Stripe. But he has to engage and from there its academic. There is no strategy for that.

The more I think about it, the Terminator never had a chance.

Like damn.

What happens if they rush the Terminator with dozen of live electrical cables and zap him? What if they jump on his head and shove that thing in a microwave?

And yeah a T-1000 can splooge into a floor or wall... but man, every second he's not engaging the enemies, that enemy is making more enemies.

Also consider the store itself. There's guns, chainsaws, electrical equipment, explosives... and 100s of gremlins all looking for ways to kill the Terminator and are so unhinged they don't really even care of they die being little whacky death goobers.

All Stripe has to do is go undetected for a while and sneak around until he finds a tap. Boom. Instant infinite gremlin army.

The unhinged army turns the fight into a matter of numbers and looney tunes violence.

Yes a Terminator can smash and stab and stomp a gremlin to death, but if 500 rush him?

a couple of gremlins singing christmas carols with the words merry christmas in the background . ALT: a couple of gremlins singing christmas carols with the words merry christmas in the background .

This might sound crazy but I really do firmly believe that if they were to spawn in the department store at the end of his film that Stripe (the lead gremlin) could take on a Terminator in a fight and win.

Yes, even a T-1000.

🧵

Are the hive systematically procreating to sustain a certain birth rate? How do they decide how that works? How does that work?

What global conspiracy theories were true? I feel like ex-X Files writers would have a lot of fun with this.

Hurry up and answer me, show.

Can animals (like the rats) get infected? If so, do the hive want that? Why not?

Do the hive experience death when someone dies? If they do experience death what's it like? Is there an afterlife or some other shared spirituql experience they've observed across 100,000s of deaths so far?

There is no new crime so have all the folks in jail been essentially pardoned and are just walking around - even the previously dangerous ones? Do they interact with their victims? Does it matter?

What happens if a hive member makes a mistake and causes a death? Is there a justice system?

I really like Pluribus but I hope as it goes on Carol starts asking the questions my brain wants answers to.

Are the humans still in their own heads aware of what's happening or are they functionally comatose? Are they functionally dead?

🧵

a man in a suit is giving a thumbs up ALT: a man in a suit is giving a thumbs up

Played chess with the 4YO.

4YO: Checkmate.

Me: How?

4YO: my queen got you.

Me: How? She's on the opposite side of the board?

4YO: She has a gun.

And then she does this at me:

a black and white photo of a person laying on a bed with a house in the background . ALT: a black and white photo of a person laying on a bed with a house in the background .

You know it's a good storm when the shed blows away.

Bye, shed. You're defying gravity now.

"We need you to train these people on a new IT system!"

"Awesome. Which system?"

"It's not built yet!"

"Is there a test version?"

"No!"

"Right. When does the training need to happen?"

"Monday!"

"Well...sure why not? Are they aware they have to go to training?"

"Yes and they're very annoyed!"

Someday! 😅

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity

This wee picture makes me happy and nostalgic.

IYKYK. 👍☝️🤘👆👎
@cookiem72.bsky.social @austrianspencer.bsky.social @annie-atkin.bsky.social

a man is making a funny face and says `` liar ! '' ALT: a man is making a funny face and says `` liar ! ''

"Hi, we attempted delivery today, but you weren't home..."

I have a friend who until the age of 22 was convinced ducks were fish.

She had a Masters degree at the time.

I just think that's funny.

Quack

The 7YO is teaching the 3YO how to play chess but they've invented the concept of chess friendly-fire where you can carve a path through your own pieces if you want but those pieces get sacrificed and frankly it should be added to the game proper fight me.

a man in a captain america costume is asking if everything is a joke to you . ALT: a man in a captain america costume is asking if everything is a joke to you .

Me: *edits manuscript I first drafted almost 8 years ago looking to spruce up the dialogue

Me: *Reads the dialogue

Also Me: "Fucking hell I was watching way too much Marvel in 2017."

a little girl in a yellow jacket is making a funny face in a crowd ALT: a little girl in a yellow jacket is making a funny face in a crowd

After 3 years of work on this trilogy of books we finally got that email from the editor / press.

"Final touches. In two weeks we're done. Let's get these out."

Her: What are you thinking about?

Me: Nothing.

Her: No, really.

Me: Nope. Nothing. I swear.

My Brain: WHAT WOULD BRIAN BOITANO DO, IF HE WAS HERE RIGHT NOW? I'M SURE HE'D KICK AN ASS OR TWO, THAT'S WHAT BRIAN BOITANO'D DO!

a man in a suit and bow tie talking to another man ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie talking to another man

Rose wasn't red
The TARDIS is blue
Matt Smith's coming back
To Doctor Who.

(I'm trying to manifest things shut up)