JP Dervan

Thank you to my friend @punsnparticles.bsky.social for an unforgettable visit to @cern.bsky.social and tour of the @cmsexperiment.bsky.social detector!

Students, please, I am begging you: take advantage of office hours next semester. Go see your professors. They are just sitting there waiting for you and your classmates to stop by. They want to help you. You are not bothering them. Office hours is part of the class. Use this resource.

Need the menswear guy to tell me where the earring that fell into the lining of my suit jacket has gone

Happy CMS week to all who celebrate 🎉

A picture of the golden spiral curving inward counterclockwise from the right

It’s so beautiful that the golden spiral appears everywhere in nature. For example, sitting at my laptop, I notice my posture—

A Modest Proposal for the Non-existence of Exoplanets: The Expansion of Stellar Physics to Include Squars The search for exoplanets has become a focal point of astronomical research, captivating public attention and driving scientific inquiry; however, the rush to confirm exoplanet discoveries has often o...

This is also ignoring cutting-edge astrophysical research arxiv.org/abs/2303.16915

Congratulations!! 🎉

Throwback to the ECAL test beam which tested the new electronics that will equip the calorimeter at HL-LHC. This year, a single ECAL read-out unit (5x5 crystals), placed inside a dedicated box, was used as a detector for the test.

🏆📸Toyoko Orimoto | ECAL's Image of the Month

Your quarterly reminder that while overleaf may falter, vim will not

I got the you-should-work-locally lecture from an officemate not one hour ago…

seems those times are long in the past 😔

Posting into the void to ask if @overleaf.com is broken for anyone else or just me

I think that’s the one where they do a little too much LDS

Penguin with its arms crossed saying "well now I am not doing it"

wavefunctions when you observe them

rt or whatever it’s called here

Say "hi" to the new BTL-Tracker Support Tube! 👋

In a massive step toward CMS’ High-Luminosity era detector, a key component of the build has arrived at the #CERN laboratories.

🗞️ Find out more: cms.cern/news/btst-ke...

Do you pronounce numpy like “numpy” or “numpy”?

Aaaaaaand that’s a wrap on the 2024 LHC run!

Are these measurements taken during pp ref runs?

I too hope to be immortalized for my mathematical errors

brought to you by the Constant Meetings Society!

Optimist: The cup is half full
Pessimist: The cup is half empty
Physics professor: Consider a particle trapped in an infinitely tall one-dimensional cup of radius r…

Skeleton doing squats with the edited caption “My body is a machine that turns sleep deprivation into science”

i love grad school haha

do i want to be different than i was on twitter? absolutely not.

it’s truly The CERN Way

For the record, the grad student who made the discovery is Madyson Barber, a NSF Grad Research Fellow at UNC Chapel Hill, who led the Nature paper on the result. This is her 4th first author paper.

Went to the engagement farm and everyone knew you

Conspiracy theorists love to say “CERN is plotting the end of the world!” meanwhile we can barely plot nice-looking graphs

He was a skeeter boi

She said “See you leeter boi”

YouTube video by Alex Klotz Falling Through the Earth (PhysCon 2024)

My 15 minutes of fame as a scientist were in 2015 when I slightly improved the calculation of how long it takes to fall through the Earth, and was in the news for about two weeks. Here's a recording of a lecture I gave this year talking about it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ud3...