Wing2J

This isn't the hottest of takes or anything, but we've been watching OMitB, and goddamn Téa Leoni is still a fucking smokeshow.

I thought I was such a badass spraypainting cuss words on a brick background with this shit.

In this William Geise illustrated ad, the title "Computer Graphics" appears up top, being cast from a giant Apple II monitor on an iceburg; the casts are a gradiant from purple to orange to yellow to green to blue to purple again, hewing towards neon tones. From the tan Amdek monitor flies a red biplane, a parachuting penguin, and a leaping unicorn; dolphins jump from the ice into the monitor. Around the iceberg, a sea otter peeks up, a penguin tap-dances, and a whale tale lifts a unicorn on a floe. The monitor is sitting on a giant Apple II. Down below, breathless text describes three different programming packages: "For the artist: Special Effects by David Lubar and Mark Pelezarski. Paint on your computer in over 100 colors with 96 different brushes!" "For the designer: The Complete Graphics System II by Mark Pelezarski. Everythign needed for computer-aided design." "For the programmer: The Graphics Magician by Mark Pelezarski, David Lubar, and Chris Joehumson. Add fast, smooth animation and hundreds of pictures to your programs." In the bottom left, the penguin software logo appears next to ordering information, with a sunfish floating to its left; at the very bottom it says, "All Penguin applications products are now on unprotected disks for your convenience."

Paint on your computer in over 100 colors with 96 different brushes!

I'm not even sure what I believe, but I just asked the big guy for a favor just in case he's listening. Or exists.

listen. when dolly parton’s sister says it’s time for us all to be prayer warriors for dolly. you fucking pray for dolly

Abraham Lincoln *could* have been assassinated by a samurai.

"I think I just Powder Blue myself."

High school me just perked the fuck up.

1994 was amazing for music.

WHAT DID THAT BITCH DO? I WILL CUT H-...

Oh. *B*unt.

It was not the worst thing that happened that day.

You know ball.

Sports were a mistake

THE GD BUNT WILL BE P*SSING ME OFF FOREVER IF WE DON’T WIN THIS

I think this is the truest baseball tweet for me

Naturally

the guy from hunt for red october who says "you've lost another submarine?"

You've lost another NLDS?

Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?

Great. Thanks for reminding me of our underperforming football team during a game of our underperforming baseball team. Super cool.

Philadelphia Union mascot Phang. He is a blue snake with a yellow mohawk and has arms and legs for some reason.

Hello

only one thing would make me feel better rn: smashing a friendly hitchhiking robot into smithereens

Please, Bryce. Don't swing out of your shoes.

It's me. I'm bitches.

Honestly shocked he didn't swing at that

Cot for Choice

a man with curly hair is wearing a suit and says ahhhh ALT: a man with curly hair is wearing a suit and says ahhhh

Nah, I’m a professional hater, I’ll boo anyone and everyone.