alexis ✧˖°. (𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 🇵🇸)

I’m sad.

Cocaine should get a lifetime achievement Grammy award for its work in the 70s and 80s. Disco and funk needed that little Colombian muse to take them to new heights.

i knew big lots would fail when i was working there and the new employee safety training videos came out and they LITERALLY showed us this step by step if we were ever faced with gun violence with customers in the store

$10 for this one only bc you took so long

spotify wrapped 916 BC you listened to that one guy with a lyre in the marketplace 403 times. honestly he's pretty weirded out. don't you have barley to thresh

coworker just sent a text to the gc saying she signed for her house and isn't leaving after all and absolutely no one responded 😭

obligatory wrapped post ykwtfgo 🙂‍↕️

just replied to someone on twitter that thought was someone else PLEASE KILL MEEEEE

scamazon gonna charge yall these same prices after cyber monday sales you watch 😭

obsessed omg

The meme I didn't know I needed

A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other

it was real to me !!!!!

he's lucky it didn't get shut down from day one fr

*bomb explodes in er*
*shooting outside hospital*
*cut lvad wire*
*multiple outbursts on patients*
chief webber: HOW IS SEATTLE GRACE NUMBER 12??????

there's this lady at my job who every single day sits in the locker room and rubs her feet while eating yogurt and i JUST want to know why

I love that we don’t have to cover our drink here like we did on Twitter!

I can’t believe Bruno Mars hasn’t gotten the easiest bag of his career by putting out a holiday album.

he just like me fr 🙂‍↕️

Too many people haven’t touched a book since they graduated high school and it shows.

LETS GOOOOOO

Dr: And how long have you had this song stuck in your head?

Me: It's been one week

I’ve never heard any of her music but I kind of like Sabrina Carpenter because in every photo of her I’ve seen she looks like she might be about to pull out a knife and start stabbing and stabbing

Forgot my headphones how will I silence the voices????

im on every app. im in your city, in your neighborhood. the sales associate who handed you a large when you asked for a medium? that was me. i am now behind you.

Quote post with the first DVD you ever bought

what does this say about me

disney exec: it’s about a guy who thinks he’s a monkey lol. probably don’t need anything too crazy for the soundtrack.

phil collins: [eyes glowing white, levitating above the ground] no

venmo me $5 to unhide your reply 😗

everyone calling liam's funeral a "reunion" need to be slapped fr lol