Bitchitations

An image of a taser. Text reads "Some foolish humans(usually men) think that through relentless insistence they can force a bitch to do something. Get a drink, have sex, be released from the hanging cages, whatever. But bitches do not have to do anything they don’t want to do, and they shouldn’t have to lie to escape.  But if you do lie, make it a real doozy. Or get a taser, tasers are nice."

These are not safe times. Definitely consider self defense. #bitch #bitchitations #taser #selfdefense #protection

Happy pride, bitches! Be gay! Do crimes! Donate to a gay charity. Call a queer friend. Go to a drag show. Support trans rights. Be too sexy for your shirt and convert a homophobe.

Happy Pride! #bitches #bitchitations #pride #pridemonth

Good vibes only? Hell no! Give me weird vibes and curious vibes. Give me neurospicy vibes and queer vibes. Give me resting bitch face vibes or even active bitch face vibes. Laser eye vibes. Fucking cryptid vibes. Dark faerie crashing the birthday party they weren't invited to vibes. Vibes that run on batteries. All the vibes.

Making art is hard sometimes. Please enjoy my unillustrated ravings instead. #bitch #bitchitations #toxicpositivity

Image of a lizard shedding his skin. Text reads "numbers have no bearing on a bitch's value. Age, dress size, GPA, salary, none of these things measure human worth. There is no system that can measure the glory of your body, the effectiveness of your mind, or the fire of your passion. If you find numbers are hurting you, reject them, make up new ones, or shed your wretched human skin and begin plotting the end of humanity."

A cardboard box labeled "the demon's old stuff" is on fire. Text reads "don't cry because it's over, smile because he will never do better than you and he isn't getting any of his shit back"

Break ups suck. Cry as much as you want. Find joy wherever you can. Kick all those obnoxious platitudes about fish in the sea, smiling, etc. in the nutz. #bitches #bitchitations #breakup #crying

I was trying to be healthy and eat my low fat yogurt with blueberries. But I really wanted to eat chocolate. So I compromised and dumped some M&Ms in the yogurt too for the occasional crunchy chocolate surprise. Bitches need chocolate sometimes to calm the rage. #healthy #bitches #yogurt #m&m

A pack of "luxury pads." Text overlay reads "When you feel like a bloated sack of pain and blood, remember that this is a natural process that your body is going through. Don’t hate your body for betraying you, hate the patriarchy for charging you tax on the feminine products you need just to keep from becoming a biohazard."

20 US states charge sales tax on period products, including mine. The other 30 states either don't have a state sales tax, or have stopped charging taxes on period products because they are an acknowledged necessity. #tampontax #bitches #bitchitations #patriarchy #tax #period #periodproblems

A dark hallway with a door cracked open at the end. Text reads "Fear is an important survival mechanism, we goddamn do have things to fear other than fear itself, so don't ignore your instincts when they tell you a situation or a person isn't safe Don't fucking act like girl #1 in a slasher movie. Act smart like that final bitch who survives to the end."

There's a lot to be afraid of right now. The Supreme Court has decided that the law used to justify putting American citizens in concentration camps can be used in peace as well as war time. No one is safe anymore. Protect your friends and neighbors. #bitch #bitchitations #injustice #resist #fear

Sorry for not posting last week ...

Just kidding! It's okay to do nothing sometimes. Bodies and souls need to rest and recharge and bitches don't have to justify that shit to anyone.

I'm sure there is a better way to post this, but I don't know how to do that yet on Bluesky. Anyway, April fools, bitches! #bitches #bitchitations #unashamed #selfcare

A confident woman in an edgy red dress and leather jacket blowing a bubble with her bubble gum. Text reads "bitch confidence is about not giving a fuck. If the only negative outcomes to an action are that 'people' may laugh or disapprove, who gives a fuck? Unless someone's reaction will affect your income or living situation, their opinion means shit. The glorious, weird, badass bitch you were born to be."

This was one was recently relevant. #bitch #bitchitations #confidence #whogivesafuck

Happy Ides of March! Don't forget to get together with your friends and stab a tyrant!

A Godzilla-like monster stomping through a burning city. Text reads "keep calm and burn the patriarchy down."

Every day my rage grows, and I remind myself it must be a controlled burn. But I meditate on the joy I would feel if I could scream fire and stomp on some phallic buildings.

A cute dog tilting its head. Text reads "Don't let a cute dog trick you into trusting someone or ignoring red flags. Those dog people can still blindside you with an unexpected/disappointing dick pic or forgetting to tell you they're married."

Maybe less of an affirmation and more general advice, but still useful.

A scribbly version of the word no with the following text "Bitches can say no. Bitches should say no. No, I will not stay, no, I will not go, no, I will not submit. No is enough. Demand your due."

No is a complete sentence. No explanation required. If it isn't safe to use that word, then something is wrong and you need help. If you don't know who to go to, try texting 741741.

A crested gecko staring with one slit pupil eye. Text reads "When you feel powerless to change the injustices around you, remember what bitches do: gossip about the injustice and get people talking. Resist where you can and comply maliciously where you can't. Corrupt the youth with kindness, critical thinking, and snacks. You are not powerless, you are cunning.

2/2 and then there are your best bitches. You text them about your shitty day and they send you a meme. You could call them from jail at 3am. If you texted them "I've made a mistake and I need to borrow your shovel" they would be like "where are you? I'm on my way!" And you would do the same.

1/2 I just saw a post that implied "normal people" have a simple definition for "friend," but that doesn't account for any nuance. There's acquaintances, work friends, friends you hang out with sometimes, besties you don't talk to often but they're definitely invited to your wedding, and then

Here's a thought: if retail therapy is cheaper than actual therapy, I'm actually saving money! But for reals, you should go to actual therapy and take your meds and be healthy or whatever.

Table with a glass of water, bottle of antacids, mortar and pestle with plants on it, and a lit candle melting on to a bat skull. Yellow text reads "close your eyes and listen to your body. What is it telling you? What does your body need? Is it hungry? Thirsty? Bloated? Clenched around the fury of injustice? Give your body what it needs, whether it's a glass of water, some antacids, or calling your coven together to hex some assholes."

An angry rainbow cupcake with a resist fist topper. Pink text reads "Bitches do not stand for double standards. Bitches do not sit for double standards. Bitches call that shit out for what it is. Bitches March against injustice, bake the feminist and gay agendas in cupcakes, and feed children facts like Black lives matter."

Fuck calm breathing exercises, let's break shit.