Well poke me with a cigar and call me Don-ica Lewinsky

Cynthia Erivo has got to be the fiercest human to ever live

Carl Sagan's prediction of America, made 30 years ago.

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”

~ George Orwell, 1984

"I have to wear a mask at my job, because I'm one of the good guys, see."

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

“It’s time to change the myth and the religion.”

- Carl Sagan

SITCOM PITCH: A reboot of Broad City where Abbi and Ilana are enticed away from NYC for the cheaper cost of living in Saint Louis, MO. They could call it Blight City #BroadCity

Today in culinary school I was giving a presentation on the science of marinades, and I told everyone to reach under their seats to find a raw piece of chicken to use for our experiment and I thought the instructor was going to have a heart attack

a german shepherd dog is sitting in a living room and looking at the camera with the words huh written on the bottom ALT: a german shepherd dog is sitting in a living room and looking at the camera with the words huh written on the bottom

How do I explain to my dog that I can no longer buy her favorite treats from Target because of the DEI boycott? She doesn’t even understand what Target is!

Christopher Hitchens on Christianity.

I don’t know at what point my gym routine incorporated sitting in the parking lot staring at my Aldi quarter disassociating for 30 minutes but I’m sure this is not unhealthy

With leaders like these who needs adversaries?

Watching that 401K get liberated
#LiberationDay

Watching that 401K like

Got lucky… Wordle 1,375 3/6*

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It does make sense that the same people who delete the history of the Navajo code talkers would leak national security secrets in a group chat.

Don’t you “whew” me, Wordle.

I’ll take any win these days, no matter how small. Let me have this.

When notifications from the Houthi bombing group text chat you didn’t ask to be in keeps going off

Give her a fish or something damn

Can we pay for express delivery?

ngl pretty funny that obama said im gonna fuck off and make some fish documentaries. cya

#AnybodyKnow where I can get one of those colonoscopy prep drinks on a short notice? I’m not trying to bring any of my old shit into 2025

Clarence Darrow: ″I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."
This seems relevant recently.