Jamie the Fool

**wipes brow**

But not in Tescos.

There's a squirrel over there somewhere saying, "Ouch."

I was just wondering how many people on here actually know who Bernie Clifton is.

I'm not putting flipping almond milk anywhere near my tea.

The children. They're making the tea not....becoming it? We're clear on that? Let's call it an ethical, legal clarification request.

Don't think you can. I'm not entirely sure they're good at making it either.

As I keep saying. A cup of tea. Works wonders.

darth vader from star wars making a heart shape with his hands ALT: darth vader from star wars making a heart shape with his hands

So Luke's Dad's stormtroopers killed Luke's Dad's step-brother and step-sister in law on the planet where he Luke's Dad grew up?

In April. Asparagus. Starts in April.

Picture of a beautiful white cat with a Smudge of tabby across his head. Sitting on a soft green blanket sitting by a sunny window.

This is Smudge. He's lovely don't you think? #InternationalCatDay

I bet they hated watching Ground Force

It isn't possible for any human to watch Pierce Brosnan singing S.O.S in Mamma Mia without suffering pain, discomfort, and an unparalleled urge to purchase noise cancelling headphones.

I'm sorry. That's not what we've learnt from watching Friends.

When they open the Hatch slightly, they Pikachu.

"PEANUTS"

Awwwww....spoilsport.

People are appallingly ignorant about immigration.

They don't understand basic things about "net immigration statistics" and have a completely warped sense of what is going on.

It is up to the government and the media to educate, but both are too busy batting their eyes at Nigel Farage's voters.

That's a hell of a back scratcher.

Why are Elton and/or Bernie on a roof composing the song in the first place? Did they conduct a work at height risk assessment? Especially if they intend to remove moss and kick from the area.

He has an Xbox.

It's kind of odd that they're mainly rectangular yet called a ring.

Mine is the same, but without the premium cosmetic dentistry.

Had the same issue with a Victoria sponge recently.

I wear the polo shirt but don't play the equestrian based sport. Thank you for the enquiries.

But I'm busy tomorrow....

Storm Floris approaching.
Weatherman looks most concerned.
It will be windy.

#haiku #itsonlyweather

Toilet, let, let, let, let, let.........

Walked past a pub doing a quiz the other day. Quizmaster asked, "What was the name Obi-Wan Kenobi went by whilst living on Tatooine?" I yelled "Ben" by the door and just kept on walking. Such a bad ass......

Just to say. A kind word and a smile might be all that is needed to make someone's day. Ta.

It's taking all my self-control to not reply, saying it's a feather......oh heck.