Regina “Cult Whisperer” Calabrese

All these girls looking all cute and cozy in flannel while I look like a lumberjack who misplaced my ax.

Re: #HelluvaBoss

Me: Is it just me or do Stella and Andrealphus have big Jaime/Cersei energy?
Bestie: Andrealphus?
Me: The guy who looks like Evil Bird Elsa
Bestie: Oh. Yep, not just you. Watching them flirting over tea like 🎶Do you wanna fuck your sisteeeeer?🎶
Me: *SPITS COFFEE EVERYGODDAMNWHERE*

Honestly I’m just in abject awe of @andrewunderberg.bsky.social and @samhaft.com. Between #HazbinHotel and #HelluvaBoss EVERY. SONG. IS AN ABSOLUTE BANGER. Special attention to “2 Minutes Notice” and “Hell Is Forever.”

Can’t wait to rock out to future seasons of each show.

Like I don't think I could sell #HelluvaBoss any harder but I'll try:

Take a voice cast full of Theatre Brats, add 2 parts insane Black Comedy that's like Courage the Cowardly Dog with a TV-MA rating, add 3 parts crushing LGBT-centric relationship drama AND THEN MAKE IT A GODDAMN MUSICAL.

SPECTACULARLY LATE TO THE @vivziepop.bsky.social PARTY but lemme just say #HelluvaBoss is gonna break me into microscopic pieces by the time it's over.

Vivzie has Mood Whiplash down to an art form.

Nobody: ...
Not a Soul: ...
Me at 3AM: HÉRA KICKED WULF'S ASS IN A FUCKING WEDDING GOWN AND BROKE HIS NECK WITH A SHIELD!
#WarOfTheRohirrim

BRB changing my middle name to “Extra AF”
@nypoliticalmom.bsky.social

It will never stop amusing me that hard right types think societal collapse means they’ll be dragons atop a hoard of gold pieces.

Bitch you’ll be hunted for meat.

I vote we ask Mace if she thinks the Gaetz ethics report should be released every time she spouts her bathroom bullshit.

Do it until her head explodes, Scanners-style.

Friendly reminder #WarOfTheRohirrim opens tomorrow.

You bet your ass I already got tickets.

Fun fact, tradwives:

Your man didn't actually want a tradwife. He wanted a fiery independent woman to break into a tradwife. And now he's bored and looking for the next one to break while he draws up divorce papers and leaves you with nothing.

Or plans to kill you.

This. This one is not a professional. A pro would’ve done more than use a silencer.

Not even! Forensic Files, here.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in doing so, it’s that most criminals are really fucking stupid and it’s a matter of making enough mistakes and having law enforcement be persistent as fuck.

To be fair, I watch a LOOOOOOOOOOT of true crime docs.

I think. Either way just bring a really big thermos if you need your pre-murder java that bad. This is…not the professional we all thought lol. No pro would’ve a) taken his mask off and b) rented a city-owned bike as a getaway.

I’m a certified Starbucks hoe and even I would have brewed my own at home that morning lmao

PSA: lesbians aren’t trying to steal your girl, folks.

We had no idea your girl was flirting with us until 2 hours after we get home.

PSA for anyone who took their under-15 kids to see #Wicked:

DO NOT buy them the book for another couple years.

Trust me on this one. Seriously, take my word for it. #IYKYK

I laugh hysterically whether it's Cyber Saturday or not.

“But you need ID for everything else, why not voting?”

Honey, I walked around with expired ID for a whole-ass YEAR and only figured it out when I got sick and tried to buy the good cold medicine.

And I’m WHITE.

Me watching The Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker on Netflix wondering how I went through all of 2013 without ever hearing about a supposedly viral sensation.

But then I remember I have no fucking clue who Chappell Roan is and thought it was a new horse color breed.

Your daily reminder that Nazi Germany was just Jim Crow in lederhosen.

Extra AF today. @nypoliticalmom.bsky.social

Yeah. Got a very nice Black Friday deal. Keeping the other laptop as a backup.

Setting up the new laptop. If anybody needs me I’ll be shotgunning bourbon-flavored coffee since I can’t have the real thing.

You could fill your tank and get a soda with a $20 bill and STILL GET CHANGE.

Then greed set in.

Goldmoon hissed at the screen whenever Alison Doody’s character showed up.

Last Crusade, too.

Stick one foot out from under the blankets and it’s perfect.