MELadapted

Look, I understand that having openly trans people in one's life can make one more accepting. However, I don't want to endure avoidable hardship and ruin my life for some nebulous "greater good of the community."

Sorry 🤷‍♀️

> Why do you care so much about passing, Mel? Why would you advise anyone who has the option to go stealth, Mel?

I also couldn't rinse off afterwards, cuz GF refused to go into the women's showers and I was too dysphoric and scared to go alone, so I was extremely itchy the entire ride back... I then panicked and started crying, because of that, very loudly, in public... 😣

I fucking hate my disgusting trans body 😣

Had a big anxiety attack that literally made me freeze beforehand... Maybe I should have listened to my instincts on that one, but I really didn't want to ruin Valentine's Day so I pushed through and we went anyway... 😞

I wore a swim dress, but it didn't do enough to cover up. I still had a visible bulge, and I felt *extremely* dysphoric the entire time I was outside the water.

Went swimming with my girlfriend...

I really get now why other pre-op trannies avoid doing that like the plague. 😖

YouTube video by Cumfessions STUPID BOY MASHUP BUT ITS ONLY AYESHA SLAYTER AND ASH

God... Somehow this reminded me I actually had an Ayesha Erotica Phase last year... >_______<

music.youtube.com/watch?v=deUT...

YouTube video by Ich liebe Tara Emely Tara Emely - ADHS CHICS

:b

youtu.be/B9gyHm1am6Y

Yeah, sameeeeeee...

It's literally never gonna happen for me tho... 😣

It's pretty obvious that for me the trigger that leads to the worst meltdowns is trans shame...

It's not the most common cause for them anymore, but it's definitely the one that hits the hardest... 😖

Maybe I should adopt her approach...

thanks <3

Honestly, I'm absolutely terrified, but my girlfriend thinks that going to the psych ward is the only way things will get better, and I trust her.

This isn't the first time. I've made her go through seven suicide scares in the last six months. She's right that they keep getting worse. This time, it took her half an hour to talk me down. I'm not sure what would have happened if she hadn't picked up the phone...

Welp, I'm probably going to the psych ward soon 😐

Girlfriend insisted on coming over, and, God, the sheer desperation on her face. She begged me to go to the psych ward. I'm so scared and I really don't want to go, but I agreed to it in the end because I don't want to hurt her like this ever again

No... -___-

it's don't kill yourself thursday. repost to don't kill yourself

This but unironically...

I'm a luckshit Stacy, I could live the cis life of my dreams if my brain wasn't filled to the fucking brim with mental illness... <_____<

I don't wanna die because I want to be dead...

I just don't want to be in pain anymore, don't want to be scared anymore, don't want to inadvertently hurt people around me anymore because I can't cope with my emotions, don't want to be broken... And it feels like death is the only way left

> Why did you call her?

Honestly, secretly I want to be saved...

I want to be convinced that everything will be fine, that my pain will go away, that there is hope, that whatever is broken in me can be fixed, that I can be happy one day. I want to be pulled back from the ledge...

Mhmmm, same...

I feel so alienated from and disappointed by "the trans community"

However, I think with my fucked personality, I don't really don't fit in with cis women either... 😖

I wish I wasn’t so afraid of talking to cis women… I want nothing to do with being trans or the trans “community” anymore

> Promised GF yesterday I wouldn't actually attempt today
> Plan to attempt anyway since when I'm dead the fact I broke a promise doesn't matter anymore, right?
> Impulsively call her while sitting right next to the train tracks
> Get talked off the ledge...

FML 😐

Have fun... I'm gonna have an ugly meltdown in my girlfriend's DMs now... 😐

I'm so tired... 😐

-_____-

bsky.app/profile/free...

The mental image of the immeasurable disappointment on her face when she undresses me for a fun time only to find fresh ones is a really strong motivator... 🫣

You bitches thought I wouldn't keep my promise, hmmm? >____<

it's easier to recover from /tttt/ than reddit or Tumblr

YouTube video by Ennaria Ennaria - Jealous - OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

:b

youtu.be/D-y7DsDj6io