Grant Howitt

a graphic with the red heart rpg, on a pink background. There are arrows pointing to the book with the folowing points: self insert MC Monsterfuckers anonymous fast burn found family forced intimacy (trapped in a dungeon) BEES AND TRAINS (bees and trains) Traagic endings Confused? This is a Roleplaying Game that finally puts you in the writers seat because you can be [insert beloved author here] at home #booktok

Imagine SPIRE but it's WETTER and NASTIER.

If SPIRE is CEO/Mafioso x Reader, HEART is the 2nd book where y/n escapes out into the evil swamp outside the city walls and there's some kind of chesty hairy bloke with a scar who may betray them for his own weird religious reasons

I dunno. Sounds pretty vulnerable to me; you’d never catch me putting it out there like that. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to write another thinly-veiled 300 page game about suicidal ideation

Announcement image with a photo of the book and a colourful felt horse.

HORSE! is back in stock!
I did a BIG reorder so please grab yourselves a copy. Soon to be restocked in physical stores too!

Who says that. Who are these people

Image of a scrub daddy box. “My eyes provide an ergonomic grip with just two fingers”

“My smile cleans both sides of your utensils, sir. Nice and shiny, sir. Any food you leave on ‘em is my little treat sir”

Truly upsetting phrases. Imagine a wretched little goblin whispering them

Worth a squiz if you’re up for some schadenfruede, otherwise it’s exactly what you imagine - a shoddy 5e licensed game that’s been mismanaged and it made enough money in crowdfunding to piss us all off

Yeah the sexuality boxout was strange. I didn’t think Neopets fucked. Like obviously on Deviantart sure but the idea of my Bluemaroo getting off on something doesn’t quite gel

See also the Silverballers in every hitman game ever; a nickel-plated “Oh shit” button that lets you go loud with terrifying efficiency should the core gameplay loop of infiltrate/kill/disguise go awry

I admired Fallout 3’s personal nuke; they put it in to avoid having to balance combat scenarios. If something was too hard you could just nuke it, but seeing how rare ammo was, you tended not to. So it felt like you had a way out and persisted at the challenge instead of feeling defeated

It Turns Out Waymos Are Being Controlled by Workers in the Philippines During a Congressional hearing, Waymo's chief safety officer, Mauricio Peña, was grilled over the company's reliance on overseas workers.

Once again, it turns out “fully autonomous” means “a guy in the Philippines.”

Seriously though what a monumental fucking bungle. I’m indifferent towards both 5e and Neopets but somehow combining them lights up every furious synapse in my brain

Looking forward to the next Neopets TTRPG update where we get rules for mega-damage and mass battles

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

I want you to know that during the brainstorming session for these I decided it might be a laugh to write terrible erotic fiction for Heart Junk Mage Zeniths

after writing it and posting it everyone went quiet because it turns out I just had earnestly attempted to write florid angler fish porn

I like a valiant last stand. I'll tear up over a valiant last stand

GETTING SALTY ABOUT IT: PART 2 | Grant Howitt Get more from Grant Howitt on Patreon

Salt, the sequel to Heart, is reaching its first playtest next week.

Here's a big blog post about what I've been doing with it so far (as well as: Egyptian handbags, taller space marines, the D&D 3.5 Search skill and tying four dogs to a 1920s private detective) www.patreon.com/posts/gettin...

Genuinely stopping me from watching it. Everything else works and Kermit just has the voice of Some Guy

more than a hundred here, written over the course of a decade. Some of them are pretty good even rowanrookanddecard.com/product-cate...

nah that's the chat program they use

it's like bears. astronauts you gotta play dead. cosmonauts you have to make yourself seem big and aggressive to get them to run back to their spaceships

Late to the party but I got some paint on this lad. (I figure the thing on his hip is a sort of orkish discman)

My 'MELANIA' Experience Melania, 'MELANIA,' and Me

I wrote about 'MELANIA' johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/my-melania...

A rare and appreciated portrayal of the ravening pinball madness present inside all horses

“what was ‘the incident’ at your church growing up?” our priest was that one who got caught giving out half-blessings so he could skim the holiness off the top and use it to power himself up for bodybuilding tournaments. he was so ripped he couldn’t fit in the confessional

I've not, I'm afraid; I try to steer clear of extensive theory and just write the damned game instead. But I do have a decade-old, barely-functional blog where you can read my juvenile thoughts if you'd like lookrobot.co.uk

PANEL 1: Lewis is standing behind Oakley, seated. They are in a suburban backyard. There are trees and bushes, etc. LEWIS: "This is my cousin Oakley. He has THE BEST stories." OAKLEY: "I still get mixed up." LEWIS: "A secret government program imprisoned him in an adjacent timeline for five years, and I LOVE HEARING ABOUT THE ZANY DIFFERENCES!" PANEL 2: OAKLEY: "Over there Airwolf is back on TV--but now Airwolf is just an app a guy uses ta dispatch a' autonomous kill drone." PANEL 3: Lewis leans down to squeeze Oakley and kiss him on the head. LEWIS: "See what I mean? Fuckin' AIRWOLF! Who thinks of that?" OAKLEY: "Their smart phones are etched on bones harvested from dead criminals." PANEL 4: NARRATOR: "Later at dinner..." Lewis and Dinner are eating at a restaurant. Their server is talking to them. SERVER: "I don't get it--the government sent you to the future? Like TERMINATOR or whatever?" OAKLEY: "A PARALLEL NOW vibrating just a fraction off what we call 'reality.'" PANEL 5: SERVER: "Still, I bet it's nice to be back home see some family--" LEWIS: "'Course it is!" OAKLEY: "I had a kind of husband there. He tried to protect me in the arena."

me n oakley

www.noncanon.com/comics/2026-...

Update:

Picture of rosie the riveter with grants face pasted over the top. It says I want you to gm a gen con. Grant has a speech bubble saying we can do it! where we is actually you, and it is actually hallucinate with strangers for money.

You get:
🔸 PAID ($20/hour)
🔸 Free Game! (or store credit if you already got it)
🔸 RRD Swag
🔸 GENCON badge (if you run 4+ games)

We get:
🔸haha 😃don't worry about it!

bit.ly/4bRsvf5

maybe a flippant response but I feel the linked article may answer your question here

GETTING SALTY ABOUT IT: PART 2 | Grant Howitt Get more from Grant Howitt on Patreon

Salt, the sequel to Heart, is reaching its first playtest next week.

Here's a big blog post about what I've been doing with it so far (as well as: Egyptian handbags, taller space marines, the D&D 3.5 Search skill and tying four dogs to a 1920s private detective) www.patreon.com/posts/gettin...