Grant Howitt

I'll do it. Don't threaten me with a good time

Please do not dress up as a bear dressed up as a man and steal our books

I'll be around on the stall at the end of the day. But we might have sold out of stuff by then.

So the way is clear: come in the morning and buy something, then come back and get me to sign it so we still look busy

As ever, I will sign anything including books I have not written.

"hey cool mask"
"thanks. technically it's a vest"

what an incredibly tight mask. imagine having to wear that AND you gotta fight MR BIG. horrible

oh and headphones. headphones and white noise or clock sounds. just something to occupy the top frantic layer of hot chaos in the brain

- instrumental soundtrack albums
- large (LARGE) glass of water
- chain-smoke unfiltered cigarettes
- probably stop posting on Bluesky

kinda sounds like a frog. good work.

(you gotta be careful with this shit. Once people figure out that pieces of paper are essentially worthless we're DONE.)

It is the past, and it is America. You and your classy associates have gathered at the palatial mansion of Shelby Deville, your classiest associate. As you sit down to eat dinner, two terrible truths are revealed to you: - They’re only serving one course. - They’re... dead! Glancing around the room, it seems like everyone has a motive - you included. You’ve got twenty minutes (half an hour if you take your time and chew your food properly) to solve this mystery.

A DRAMATIC TURN Each comes with THINGS TO SAY (or DO); please say (or do) these things as the game progresses. It will flow better if you can do them in order, but don’t feel like you have to if inspiration strikes. Once you’ve said everything on your character card and done everything on your role, you can reveal something dramatic about yourself: you’ve been in love with one of the other characters for years, you’re Shelby’s secret half-sibling or illegitimate child, you’ve been spying for the Russians, etc, etc.

CHARACTER Plumbford Derrick. Self-made oil man. You are an investor in Deville Plastics. You need your stake back, but thanks to a tricky contract, Shelby has authority over your money while alive. THINGS TO SAY O “It’s just like my daddy always used to say...” O “You remind me of my third wife...” O “Tell me, you ever drink crude oil?”

ROLE You are the Red Herring. It really seems like youdunnit, but you dunt. THINGS TO DO ⬜ Reveal something incriminating. Refuse to elaborate on it when questioned. ⬜ Awkwardly excuse yourself and leave the room. Return after exactly ninety seconds ⬜ Accuse someone of something obviously false to shift attention away from yourself ⬜ Reveal the real, shameful reason for your secrecy (not the murder)

Back at it again. Couldn't stop writing 'em if I tried.

November's free game is ONE COURSE ULTIMATE MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Patrons get it a week early here: www.patreon.com/posts/144283...

It is the past, and it is America. You and your classy associates have gathered at the palatial mansion of Shelby Deville, your classiest associate. As you sit down to eat dinner, two terrible truths are revealed to you: - They’re only serving one course. - They’re... dead! Glancing around the room, it seems like everyone has a motive - you included. You’ve got twenty minutes (half an hour if you take your time and chew your food properly) to solve this mystery.

A DRAMATIC TURN Each comes with THINGS TO SAY (or DO); please say (or do) these things as the game progresses. It will flow better if you can do them in order, but don’t feel like you have to if inspiration strikes. Once you’ve said everything on your character card and done everything on your role, you can reveal something dramatic about yourself: you’ve been in love with one of the other characters for years, you’re Shelby’s secret half-sibling or illegitimate child, you’ve been spying for the Russians, etc, etc.

CHARACTER Plumbford Derrick. Self-made oil man. You are an investor in Deville Plastics. You need your stake back, but thanks to a tricky contract, Shelby has authority over your money while alive. THINGS TO SAY O “It’s just like my daddy always used to say...” O “You remind me of my third wife...” O “Tell me, you ever drink crude oil?”

ROLE You are the Red Herring. It really seems like youdunnit, but you dunt. THINGS TO DO ⬜ Reveal something incriminating. Refuse to elaborate on it when questioned. ⬜ Awkwardly excuse yourself and leave the room. Return after exactly ninety seconds ⬜ Accuse someone of something obviously false to shift attention away from yourself ⬜ Reveal the real, shameful reason for your secrecy (not the murder)

Back at it again. Couldn't stop writing 'em if I tried.

November's free game is ONE COURSE ULTIMATE MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Patrons get it a week early here: www.patreon.com/posts/144283...

Gender is a spectrum from just wanting have fun to being back in town, and to varying degrees, each of us contains attributes of both, which is a beautiful thing

Oh traveller! Come closer. No, closer. Much closer, let me smell your fetor friend. Yesssss. Hmm? What do I want? Oh the wrong question for such a discerning punchinello as yourself! Peruse my menu, and see what delights you...

I miss Nine Worlds. One of the best places to get drunk on vodka I'd brought from home that I ever went

That’s pretty neat. Impressed to see NOT A PLACE OF HONOUR get through! Thank you for sharing this

??? Woah! That’s neat. I had no idea

Probably “If I Only Had Four Hands,” if only for the many ways it manages to rhyme “pedipalps”

Yeah I seemed to focus more on hearing in retrospect

Nukeromancers: Rise of the Cabalites by Ursidice Ride a nuclear Harley through a horde of skeletons while firing a flamethrower into the sky.

Wanna encase your magic drained corpse in a moving coffin and depose a local warlord with your weird pals and undead thralls?

Well, do I have the game for you.

Playtest alpha of Nukeromancers: Rise of the Cabalites is PWYW to download now.

ursidice.itch.io/nukeromancer...

So, like. It's two hours of unedited recording. But I do throw a couple of jokes in there and spend a full five minutes knocking the shit out the very concept of AI "art"

that's not a grandmother. that's a dog

I do understand: you want permission. There’s a machine in the corner wrapped in human skin that makes things out of shit and blood to look like whatever you want (as long as you don’t look too closely). You gave one to your teacher and they didn’t notice. Your boss told you to use it after they laid off half the team and it was fine. You fed one to your kids and they liked it. You want to know you can use it sometimes without me thinking less of you. You don’t need me to believe it’s useful, you just want me to be polite about it. But I am a hater, and I will not be polite. The machine is disgusting and we should break it. The people who build it are vapid shit-eating cannibals glorifying ignorance. I strongly feel that this is an insult to life itself.

I cosign every single word of this

anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...

This is a D66 table which is too long to fit into the alt text. It's 36 different things a Guard might say when you pass a stealth check. Here's a selection, anyway: “Huh. Guess it must have been the wind.” “Blimey, the size of the size of the rats ‘round here!” “I must be tired.” “Don’t bother. This place makes all sorts of weird noises.” “You’re hearing things! You ought to lay off the whiskey.” “Guess it was nothing.” “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” “Go on, get out of here!” “I’m not checking it. You check it.” “Come on, who’d try to sneak in here?” “Ugh. I hate this job.” “Any more noises like that and I’ll be forced to stand up and take a look.” “I don’t feel like getting shanked in the ribs tonight. Just let it slide.” “What you mean, ‘strange noise?’ Sounds like a perfectly normal noise to me.” “My doctor said I’m not supposed to investigate mysterious sounds after 6pm.” *aimlessly whistles a sea shanty, and dreams of their true purpose: sailing the mighty ocean* “Ohhh, my aching back! I can barely stand up straight, let alone search for intruders!” “Geoffrey? Is that you? I’ve told you not to do the hiding thing any more. It’s dangerous.” “I think someone must have left a window open somewhere.” to themselves: “Don’t be scared. Shh. There’s no such thing as ghosts.” “Probably just a harmless drunk. They kip in here sometimes.” “Hey, your shift’s over! It’s my time to guard. Let me have this, Sylvia.” reading aloud, weeping: “Dear Erik. I am very sorry, but I must leave you. I’ve found a new lover. He wants to start a family. I can’t wait for your promotion any longer.” “No, no: my grandfather told me about a time he investigated a nearby disruption. I’m not going to make the same mistake.”

D66 Things Guards Say When You Pass A Stealth Check (Fantasy)

Mark Z. Danielewski's new novel of beautiful wonderful innocent pigs finding themselves in a labyrinthine pen whose dimensions violate euclidean physics. The pigs do not know fear and nothing happens to them :) More pen space for my great lovely pigs to roam :)

A photo of a sign, white text on red background: JESUS... WHO IS HE? WHY DID HE COME?

When I arrive at the party

🙏CHAPTER SERF🙏

I finished it! A Warhammer 40K adventure & TTRPG where you *don't* play Space Marines. Instead you play those little hooded freaks loitering in the background while Space Marines hog the limelight.

PDF here: drive.google.com/file/d/1V4Mt...

1/

I think I took a turn at that a couple of years ago. You were AI-generated Knights trying to find the last horse that wasn't absolutely fucked-looking

Comic strip showing a stand-up comedian under the title "The Ones Who Bomb In Omegas" He is saying "Hooboy, I should not have brought up the child. This is a tough room, but not the worst room in the city. Am I right?"

"Sure. Fuck it."

A digital drawing of one of those drawing tutorials that says 'don't do this, do this.' The drawing is of an almost naked middle-aged man doing a flying kick. The 'Don't do this' one has a bunch of areas circled and a cross under it. The 'Do this' one is exactly the same but without the circles and a tick instead of a cross. The text reads 'Needlessly adding red circles will ruin your art' and a smaller bit of text at the bottom reads 'Bonus tip! Add a tick under all your art so people think you did it right.'

#3157 A helpful tutorial

Road sign for 'Skirmish Paintball'

How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.