Mat “Wilto” Marquis

the brain that can see a face in a wall outlet was always doomed to hear the voice of God in a markov chain

Screenshot of video editing software. The timeline contains one item, the preview for which is the first frame of a video: me, against a black background, with a microphone in the foreground, scowling at my screen.

no thank you

no thank you, please

JavaScript for Everyone A high quality, expansive written course that will elevate your JavaScript skills to a level you never thought was achievable.

next thing on my piccalilli agenda: rigging up pre-orders for JavaScript for Everyone piccalil.li/javascript-f...

I step into my time machine and turn the dial to “December, 1995.” I reach for the start button, but pause for a moment. I write “WHENEVER CROSSBOWS WERE AROUND FOR ME TO JUST KINDA TAKE” in Sharpie beside the dial. I turn it to that, first.

“Why is the `length` property of an array instance writable” I repeatedly ask aloud to no one in a tone much more like a statement than a question, executing my full walk-cycle loop about a foot from the open doorway, my shoulder partially clipping into the wall, my angle jittering slightly.

Ragebound is pretty fun, but unfortunately it cannot sate the soul-deep darkness that once drove me to beat Ninja Gaiden I and II in a single sitting, long ago—the Demon that whispers “I bet you’ve got a WR pace on Flash Man, why not do Air Man next, to see who it is that you might become” even now.

The extremely ironic ghost of Jean-Paul Sartre looking over my shoulder breaks into a cold sweat as I type "Arrays introduce us to a third type of nothing."

you couldn't possibly be more correct here

you would not believe the degree to which we are not going to discuss my using "complements" when I meant "compliments"

nothing in the history of discussing has ever been so not-discussed as this

The Lander has Landed

> Like so many dogs playing so much basketball, there's no rule that says you can't use Emoji in your identifiers, but neither scenario is going to be especially pleasant for whoever gets stuck cleaning up afterwards.

In case you were wondering about the stat at the end of wil.to/newsletters/...

CSS Functions & Mixins Is sass dead yet?

CSS mixins & functions are coming! And the best way to prepare is by re-visiting CSS variables.

Don’t let the Guaranteed Invalid value & Invalid at Computed Value Time behavior trip you up. Watch my CSS Day talk, or book a workshop to go in depth with modern #CSS!

www.oddbird.net/talks/mixins/

Come join me on the newsletter-writing stream if you want to chat about the course design, hear about my progress so far, and maybe get a sneak peek at the EXTREMELY half-baked T-shirt ideas I’ve been kicking around: youtube.com/live/2CPeE6-... or www.twitch.tv/wiltostreams

bsky.app/profile/bell...

YouTube video by Benn Jordan I Saved a PNG Image To A Bird

They stored a PNG on a bird. youtu.be/hCQCP-5g5bo?...

Never write your own Date Parsing Library—zachleat.com A post by Zach Leatherman (zachleat)

Never write your own Date Parsing Library (I wrote my own Date Parsing Library)

www.zachleat.com/web/adventur...

A SKEALOTEN HOLDEN A COUPLE OF CEO REMOVERS AND DEMANDING : "BRING BACK RSS READER'S AND BLOG'S " !!!! REMEBER WHEN IT WAS FUN TO CLICK AROUND ON YOUR COMPUTER AND NOW WE GOT COMPUTER'S EVERY WHERE BUT THERE NOT FUN ANY MORE, SO WE SOULD AT LEAST TRY TO MAKE OUR LIFES NICE SINCE WERE STUCK HERE ON EARTH, DA BILLIONAIRS SEEM TO WANT TO GO TO MAR'S BUT THATS NOT A SOLUTION ITS MORE OF A WAY FOR THEM TO BUILD A PUNISHMENT PRISON WHERE EARTH LAWS DONT APPLY, THINK ABOUT IT, ALSO THERE BUILDING BUNKER'S IN HAWAII AND NEW ZELAND AND THEY REALLY THINK ONCE THERE LOCKED IN THERE WITH A BUNCH OF SECURITY GUARDS THAT THERE NOT GONNA GET EATEN ON DAY 2 LMAO , ANY WAY HOPE YOUR HAVIN A GOOD DAY AND KICKEN A$$ OUT THERE, - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

MAKE THE COMPUTER GOOD AGAIN - GET SHIRT OF THIS AT DASHARE.ZONE - dashare.zone ADMIN

A group of handdrawn fish.

Why I 🧡 the web.

drawafish.com

Just draw the fish. Trust me. 🐟

> Every property has a level of internal meta-attributes that we've been brushing up against, like shapes moving in the dark, called *property descriptors*. I didn't mean to make them sound so unsettling, but y'know, I think I'm into it. I mean, what is JS if not a text-based "survival horror" game?

yeah, no, but maybe

Screenshot of a design tool. On the artboard are several unremarkable experiments with the JavaScript for Everyone wordmark and an image of a blank t-shirt. Outside the artboard are pasted images of blank VHS tape sleeves from the 80s.

...nah, right?

yeah, nah

right?

if you reply to tell me that there is a better way to do this so help me god i will go outside and take a nice walk with my dog

> ... it wasn't unheard of for some oh-so-clever young dork with `$` in his eyes to write `$el[ ( $el.hasClass( "open" ) ? "remove" : "add" ) + "Class" ]( "open" );` to access either the `addClass` or `removeClass` methods of a jQuery-wrapped element, depending.

what a time to have been alive

Brick by brick: Help us build CSS Masonry  |  Blog  |  Chrome for Developers Help test the proposed masonry syntax in Chromium.

CSS masonry is ready for early developer testing from Chromium 140.
developer.chrome.com/blog/masonry...

"With open issues surrounding the CSS masonry specification and syntax still remaining, your feedback is crucial to help us cement the final shape of the API."

I was thinking about doing an announcement video for when JavaScript for Everyone pre-sales start, but when I looked back at the script I’d been writing it just said “DO NOT DO BIG BILL HELL’S” a bunch of times.

Ok hear me out. For today only.

BULLETIN - EAS ACTIVATION REQUESTED
“Maybe I should start One Piece” WARNING
NATIONAL WILTO SERVICE MEDFORD MA
2:15 PM EDT SAT JUL 19 2025

This is art:

secretgeek.github.io/html_wysiwyg...

Is it gauche to update and reuse a “can I please come on your podcast” email if—and this part is key, now—you personally thought it was a really funny bit?

The Tyranny of the undefined Page

It’s your lucky day, subscribers: you’ve received a rare “subject line misprint” variant of today’s newsletter (collect all 1)! Make sure you hang onto that; maybe get it slabbed. It's gonna be a collectors’ item someday.

The rest of you scrubs are gonna have to make do with wil.to/newsletters/...

because of the— you know, in chapter 4, there's the scene where— nah nevermind