Smut Terry

michael scott from the office is wearing a suit and tie and making a funny face . ALT: michael scott from the office is wearing a suit and tie and making a funny face .

Stop simping for that account using AI pics, it’s embarrassing.

That's a beauty. I've got a few Gretches in my collection. If I win the lottery before Christmas, I'll pick it up for you.

A golden retriever holding an octopus in its mouth, so it looks like tentacles

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

“Don’t be afraid of life…life is good when we do good things for each other.”

i’m sorry you forgot that amazing banger before you could post it i’m sure that was the one that would have turned it all around for you

Ever be scrolling through the timeline and then feel sorry for someone’s butthole? Just me?

New Year’s resolution for 2026: listen to new music.

If you post a sexy pic on Bluesky, I’m going to zoom in and see what book you’re reading.

Are you still massively against me breaking into your home and stealing all your stuff so I can sell it or have you moved more towards acceptance?

I know most of the focus is on RFK Jr.'s weird horny texts, but the news that he used to spam Bill Nye with anti-vax weirdness and Bill was like, "Dude, you're you're confusing correlation for causation" is the only RFK text-message news I will ever need.

when trying on pants, do this in the store. then tell the sales associate "the menswear guy told me to do this."

IG mr.funkys0ul

Saying this but to a computer

everyone who spent the 90s laboriously and lovingly making mixtapes just dissolved into ancient dust

Forcing the Pod Save bros to take hemlock

*Hits Blunt* I wonder if ancient Greeks and Romans felt about their philosophers the way we feel about podcast bros? (Derogatory)

In university I met someone cool, they said they were going to study something that I had never heard of. I ended up studying that as well and now I am an international man of mystery.

Cut up a 20mg mango gummy in your cheerios for a more balanced breakfast

I think it's time to clean out my cache because I was listening to some OMD earlier and I went to google something about If You Leave and this came up:

I think it's time to clean out my cache because I was listening to some OMD earlier and I went to google something about If You Leave and this came up:

receiving worker's comp after getting trapped in the holodeck's blowjob simulator for 37 hours

If you post a sexy pic on Bluesky, I’m going to zoom in and see what book you’re reading.

They should ask this about every movie. Why isn’t Pennywise in Nights in Rodanthe with Richard Gere and Diane Lane?

Is #NoNutNovember still a thing? Because I lost 13 days ago if it is.