Clare (The Amazon)

Son just tried blowing on a Nintendo Switch cartridge to get the game's software to "update faster." Glad to see our instinctive cures for NES game issues have made their way to Gen Alpha, but this is NOT going to work, AT ALL.

Gotta say, the folks unironically saying that the northern lights are "an amazing promotion for Wicked: For Good" are at the highest attainable level of cringe. And I say this having boasted that I will be "one of the cool kids" by being the first trainer in town to reach level 73 in Pokemon Go.

Good news: we finally got a new* couch** for downstairs!
Bad news: I threw my back out helping to carry it inside! Fortunately the chiropractor had an immediate opening, but I'll be icing for days.

*pre-owned
**loveseat

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

If there's one thing I've learned from Squid Game: The Challenge season 2 (and there is ONLY ONE thing I have learned), it's this: Australian men are committed to mullets.

The same guy who "doesn’t want to hear about affordability" posted about his new marble bathroom 7 times last week.

Thinking today about the lesbian couple from college who got married before gay marriage was legal. They used a loophole because one of the women was trans, so her documents were all marked "male." It was a fun but rare instance where transphobia could enable otherwise inaccessible gay rights! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Just saw the phrase "every protest needs a lawyer with a bullhorn calmly explaining our civil rights" and I love that we need this in 2025.

I keep seeing these video ads for "walking pads" (basically mini treadmills with no handrails) and based on the average-height women unnaturally having to shorten their strides to stay on these death traps, I can tell my 35-inch inseam ain't got a fuckin' chance in hell of walking on the thing. ☠️

You can tell Halloween is over because there is a very fat squirrel eating his way through our largest jack-o'-lantern 🎃 I'll allow it. Circle of life and whatnot.

Great local election news: we got both sane people on the school board, and our hot ally mayor ran unopposed, so yeah I'm having a good morning!

a man in a black shirt is dancing in front of a pink curtain ALT: a man in a black shirt is dancing in front of a pink curtain

THE Patrick Swayze

The Truman Show. Truman. TRUE MAN. His wife Meryl, named after the greatest actress of modern times. HASHTAGbelieveitornotimtotallysober

Gummi bats shaped like a penis and testicles

My son's gummi bats from his Halloween candy stash are shaped like penises, AMA

Jason Kander posts: “Dems: We’ll vote for a budget if you let sick people go to the doctor. Republicans: Let us take doctors away from sick people or we’re gonna take food away from poor families.” He ends with the hashtag #shutdown2025.

Essentially it is this, yes.

South Korea gave Trump a gold crown and a bunch of cheeseburgers and somehow he DOESN'T see that they are absolutely 100% making fun of him to his ugly orange face? GIRL.

Got my son flu and COVID shots today in a super fuckin' red state, SUCK IT, Kim Reynolds, ya drunk cunt.

Remember that Full House episode where Stephanie made a girl group and they really poorly played "I Saw The Sign" by Ace of Base, even though that song only had two chords and a four-note vocal range? Remember that? It haunts me to this day.

Would you say they're... GASLIGHTING you? [rimshot]

Apparently the people running the Melania Trump meme coin were fraudsters and scammers and I am simply APPALLED. If we cannot trust in the integrity of something called "Melania Trump meme coin," in what CAN we trust?!

I will forever be grateful for the fact that George W. Bush left the White House and *nobody had to think of his existence ever again.* Imagine having an unpopular president with that level of self-awareness today.

NW side of Prism Tower ☠️

[me watching Hacksaw Ridge, jumping on the couch like Tom Cruise] I LOVE ANDREW GARFIELD!!!!

I think Trump's stupid fuckin' ballroom should be turned into a PROPER ballroom after he's gone. Like Paris is Burning, "category is DEMOCRULENCE, YOU OWN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF RESOURCES" ballroom.

Wow, they're really gonna keep making more seasons of Emily In Paris? ...Alright.

This dude looks seriously creepy, even by Republican standards. Makes me want to cover my drink here in my house.

Saw a woman at the gym wearing a "leggings are not pants" T-shirt...with leggings. As pants. Guys, I just don't even know anymore. (I am very in favor of leggings as pants, by the way, so I felt both baffled AND personally attacked)

The ONLY good thing this presidential administration has done has been to turn my husband from being a self-professed apathetic libertarian into someone who will vote *against* the Republican party in every election from now on. "They're destroying the country," he says. Good boy.

I mean heist movies have taught me that in order for a robbery to succeed it needs to be as camp as physically possible so maybe I should have

Tried to go to a clothing store in Pokemon Legends ZA and the lady out front scoffed, "this boutique is only for the TRULY stylish," bitch did you not clock my outfit?! I am HOT.