AuDHD Millennial

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Honestly the only thing that is helping me survive through each day is to escape reality through either getting high or binge watching tv and zoning out into an alternate reality. #lifeishardrightnow #ptsd #cptsd #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth

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My new favorite show is Orange Is The New Black. I’m late to the game I know but I do like being able to binge watch all the episodes back to back!

Well… I started more intensive trauma therapy this month and my new therapist is a great fit for me! My last therapist was amazing but she didn’t specialize in trauma therapy, at least not beyond traditional talk therapy. I’m doing IFS therapy with my new therapist.

Doesn’t help that my neighbors above me has their TV so loud all night every night 😒

It’s the worst when I can’t sleep for the life of me and just keep watching the hours pass by… meanwhile I have to be up early for an appointment. Wish I could fall asleep. I can’t stay awake during the day but some nights the insomnia is brutal.

I’m going to try to be more active on Bluesky. Although in general I am trying to be offline more often because it is hard to manage my ADHD when I spend too much time on my phone.

So truth is, I haven’t been doing too well lately. My ptsd is very severe and I’m struggling a lot with just functioning with the most basic of tasks due to the intensity of cptsd symptoms. It’s been a struggle to get through each day. #mentalhealth #cptsd #trauma #ptsd #dissociation

Every single night like clockwork my neighbors are extremely loud and inconsiderate ALL NIGHT LONG til 4 to 5 in the morning!! There’s only so much I can handle!! Not everyone wants to be kept awake all night every night just cuz they’re fucking nocturnal and up all night and asleep all day.

Society unfortunately views disabled folks and low income folks as less than. It’s sad that we’ve gotten to a place where society sees people as less valuable due to their income instead of who they are as a person. It’s really a shame that there’s judgment instead of seeing people for who they are.

Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to move to a house ever unless I won the lottery or something. Being on disability unfortunately equates to living on low income and many people think that means not being worthy enough to deserve “luxuries” that those with higher income have.

I am struggling to cope with the constant sensory overload of living in an apartment that isn’t soundproof and neighbors have their volume excessively loud. There’s only so much I can tolerate but when I already struggle with overstimulation it’s even more difficult.

I’m nervous to do the water aerobics class but it’s the best option they have that will help me with managing fibromyalgia pain. Otherwise they just have the pools for lap swimming and I need to do stretches and different movements so water aerobics covers that better.

I finally got a gym membership set up yesterday. I’ve been putting it off for months and finally got step one completed! Now is the hard part… going to the gym! It’s not gonna be easy, especially when all I wanna do is stay warm and cozy at home during the winter but I know it will help me!

I keep catching myself with my shoulders raised up to my ears… I try to relax and let my shoulders drop, but I just end up subconsciously tightening my shoulders and curling my shoulders into my ears again and again. It’s definitely a subconscious anxiety response especially with my ptsd.

The feeling of my cat hugging me, holding onto me… just melts my heart ❤️ I love my baby so much! I don’t know where I’d be without him, he’s the best emotional support cat and best friend I could ever ask for! I truly have a connection and bond with Linus. Linus brings joy & meaning to my life 🥺❤️🥹🥰

I did get Christmas gifts from Walmart for my nephews for their Cyber Monday sale but they really didn’t have a very big sale for toys… also I hate that there are so many 3rd party sellers and sponsored ads of products that completely dominate results for Walmart… it gets annoying.

I’m lowkey kinda upset that the prices went lower than the Cyber Monday sale prices I paid for after the Cyber Monday sale ended.

I ordered some things from Kohls for their Black Friday sale and then used my Kohls Cash and coupon yesterday for Cyber Monday thinking prices would go back up today… nope, they went on sale even cheaper with a bigger coupon today! Wtf! So much for trying to save money… feels like a scam lol.

Many disabled folks cannot work but yet the income for social security disability isn’t enough to easily access housing. I was lucky to have a place to crash til I found housing but many have to resort to homelessness. Many people look past this if it doesn’t affect them. This needs to change!

It was so much hard work to even find housing, I had to scour the internet for resources that were not easy to find, called housing help lines many times for help but they never did help me. Being on disability they don’t make it realistic to find housing on that income alone.

Something that isn’t talked about enough is the homeless crisis in America. Low income and disabled folks aren’t able to afford housing of any kind and assistance is very hard to come by. I’m grateful I got into housing when I did.

Not sure that people read my posts here and it’s been a long time since I posted. Since I last posted I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, lots of appts, been busy, tired, exhausted, overwhelmed…

Dang just the other day my mom came over to go the laundromat with me and when I tell you that it’s very apparent that I’m dealing with chronic fatigue and/or hypersomnia… I cannot function at all if I’m as tired as I get, I get such bad brain fog, I can’t even function or do basic shit.

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Been a hot minute since I last posted. Life has been insanely busy to the point where I’m finally coming down from over a year of such high stress and pushing through chronic fatigue (or possibly hypersomnia or both) and likely fibromyalgia (doctor just said likely). Now I’m in severe burnout.

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Sensory issues at the moment are gonna make me lose my shit! Bras are the bane of my existence… itchy and uncomfortable and I get awful sweat rashes from them, then there’s chafing on my thighs. Can existing not be so uncomfortable 🥴 Ugh I feel all itchy and irritated… showering didn’t help.

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I have great news!! I finally found an affordable housing that I can afford! I’m moving into an apartment in a couple weeks!

The process though is anything but smooth, it’s more drawn out and stressful than it needs to be for final touches on assistance, ESA and forms.

Idk about anyone else but I’m getting really irritated with AI taking over everything. I don’t mind using ChatGPT from time to time, but when I call my medical clinic, health insurance, phone carrier… and they expect me to complete the entire call with an AI bot and not a live human… ugh no thanks 😒

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Cramps, joint pain, back pain, muscle pain, extreme fatigue, allergies… like can this not all be hitting me all at once?? I just need some restful sleep and some relief.

All day I have been beyond tired (and in quite a lot of pain)… and once I go to bed tonight I can’t sleep. Now it’s past midnight and the melatonin didn’t help and I’m wide awake. Doesn’t help that I’m having such bad pain either…

Ugh starting to get signs of carpal tunnel syndrome. Guess I need to find another way to type on my phone other than using both thumbs. I’m gonna try a carpal tunnel wrist splint to avoid any further damage.