99th Red Balloon

I still think about Johnny Cash's chair that was on sale a few years ago. I hope whoever owns it now sits in it and thinks deep, dark thoughts

The shroom has been toppled. I assume things got rowdy and fairy hoodlums trashed it

Is this Julien's Auctions? That place is addictive. I'd be dangerous if I had money, and my house would be full of Doris Day's old tat

Have you seen the Aldi jacket potato coat? The model looks like he'd rather be somewhere else

Was really struck by what a lovely inspiring exercise this is, like a primary school version of Mary Oliver’s Instructions for living a life
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it

I only want to be BBC DG so that I can fire that nepo twat Zoe Ball

"I know, what the nation really needs after a depressing war film is a spot of Question Time. Just in case viewers aren't traumatised enough before bed."

who else can’t watch a TV show without noting every band shirt

Have just found out that my grandma on my dad's side outlived my dad and died at the age of 101. I can guarantee that most of that was staying living out of spite 😂

My great-grandma was 93 when she died. I'm now hoping for genetic longevity and living out of spite 👍

She looks haggard

Ben Affleck tooting on a vape

Also available in vape

a man wearing sunglasses is holding a bunch of money in his hand . ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is holding a bunch of money in his hand .

Avec plaisir

November has hit me like a truck today 😩

YouTube video by Saturday Night Live GoProbe - SNL

Good luck for tomorrow and try not to stress today. I'll leave this here in case you need to laugh

youtu.be/qTGauBXL_sE?...

KitKat she wanted, four fingers she got

Plus a fierce dance-off AND Busy Phillipps!! She's the winner

MOTHER 🙌

Six fat Festivus poles, right there

I'm the new BBC DG. The first thing I'm doing is making a 24-hour TOTP channel, chopping out the nonces and showing all the good stuff

My grandma loved him too, for the same reasons. And of course, they were right!

Hey, maybe if it *is* Brucie's ghost haunting your pipes, it's because it's the closest he can get to tap-dancing these days 😂

(I'm here all night. Try the veal)

On one hand, it sounds a bit fancy and your neighbour sounds like a bit of a Hyacinth Bucket.

On the other hand, I'd massively judge anyone who could recognise anyone from Strictly 😂

On the third hand: maybe it's Brucie's ghost fucking with your plumbing

I am having another glue crisis. I have run out of cheapo stick glue and I have stuff to do

Drink whisky, smoke fags and play with your organ 👍

What I don't understand is why people are still setting off fireworks despite it absolutely pissing it down here

🎶 Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? 🎶

"Yeah, fucking loads mate" *waves front leg across field*

Clearly memorial fireworks for my dad, which I didn't know was a national event but I'm always the last to know

french wikipedia is the only language that has a "list of bastards" article

If I didn't think I'd pop it on the first wear, this would come in very handy

YouTube video by BBCShootingStars Shooting Stars - PEANUTS!!! - S5 EP1

I've got the perfect campaign song for them

youtu.be/XRN-5XQy3FU?...

The only things my neighbours cook is chargrilled weed