Mikki Magenta 💖🏳️‍⚧️💖

the summoning

Her cock is my strange addiction the way it has me eating the mattress

West Coast vs East Coast beefs are manufactured by Big Lotto b/c they don’t want ppl on the east coast leaking the winning lotto numbers to ppl on the west coast so that they can buy winning tickets before the numbers are called in their time zone, guaranteeing payouts of over $2.5 mil every time

Poster for the movie Ichi the Killer. Closeup of Ichi’s face, which has one long horizontal scar across the middle, one down his left eye, and one extending out of each corner of his lips

Dunno about the gear but the makeup looks like Ichi the Killer!!

My romantic rival doesn’t have shit on me: I’m hotter, wealthier, and better schooled in the arts and histories. Literally the only thing he had going for him is the hypnotic movement of his pendulous balls. Not that I’m watching b/c that would be gay, but damn those shits are pendulous huh 😵‍💫

It’s all good y’all, he told me the tattoo is gonna be a maze when it’s done

Screenshot of text messages describing a nacho recipe. “A bag of tortilla chips, a large jar of Pace picante medium salsa, a bag of shredded cheese, a minced jalapeño, a small can of sliced olives, corn sliced off an ear if in season, a can of drained, rinsed, and dried black beans, and cooked ground beef or shredded chicken from a rotisserie chicken. toss it up in a big pan and bake in preheated oven at 400 for 20 minutes. then when it’s done, add dollops of sour cream and diced avocado on top.”

Family member’s recipe for nachos! Ingredients can be easily swapped or omitted based on availability and energy. Last time I made it, I replaced the black beans with refried right out of the can. I also used some of that taco kit seasoning for the ground beef, which worked great

Happy birthday!!! 💞💞💞

kyle fletcher has some wardrobe issues at Wrestledream

Movies with adjectives in their title should be part of suffixed trilogies, such as “The Long Walk” being followed by “The Longer Walk” and finally “The Longest Walk.” “The Green Mile” would have “The Greener Mile” and “The Greenest Mile.” “Die Hard with a Vengeance” should have been “Die Hardest”

I fucked it up y’all. I fumbled the millennial baddie. Now she’s making epic bacon for someone else, and my life will never be awesomesauce again. How am I supposed to go on adulting without her?

me after getting baptized for the first time

Monosyllabic names are an attack on literacy. We must put an end to John, Joe, Jane, Jack, James, Joan, Jim, Jess, Jill, Jean, and others

HRT is the difference between the intro to “Roundabout” and the intro to “Crazy on You”

edited comic panel. Batman is breaking a lump-with-handle cow tool over his knee and saying "this is the tool of the cow. we do not understand it. we will not use it."

it's not FOR us

With a name like Cillian Murphy, you’d really expect him to be Irish

Hate meeting Watchers IRL, she read the contents of my soul and now she knows about the time I jacked off 💀

Thoughts and Prayers
Bought myself a fancy pair
Tightened up the derriere
Did the nose with it, all that goes with it!

Turned their drilling into fracking by pooping during anal

Album artwork for Meredith Brooks’ 1997 single, “Bitch.” Meredith Brooks is white with long dark hair, wearing a black dress and holding a brown electric guitar. Behind her is a wall of blue flowers. Top right corner has a box of text that reads “Meredith Brooks - Bitch”. The edit for this image adds a red arrow pointing down from “Meredith Brooks” leading to a red circle. Within the red circle is an image of Meredith Marks from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, depicted with her son and star of Next Gen NYC, Brooks Marks.

#rhoslc

Thought I wanted to be the Joker, turns out I just really like clown makeup

I’m playing Legos with my bricked-up vers

I spent the last week in the desert losing my absolute shit and on the final day I saw what I can only guess was God standing over me with a giant cartoon mallet and they asked me “are you ready for it to be over yet?” and I have no recollection of what I said to them but now here I am again

Winning the Authoress of the Year award for my bestselling debut novel, “The Ox with the Thorny Plumage who Dines at the Feast of Stone and Sand in the Hall of the Phantom Blood during the War of Hearts and Hands which takes place in the Season of Changes and Weather”

Girl you must be a longtime Mike Flanagan collaborator the way you act like a different person every time I see you

We should have a special flag pole that’s twice as long as standard flag poles so that when terrible people die we can fly our flags at double mast to celebrate

Fruity disposition, Spanish Inquisition

One thing about me is you’ll never have to worry about me having a birthday in September. It’s not even close

She said the only thing more fetid than my odor was the contents of my soul, do you think I still have a chance to hit?

Taking a walk, remembered my hoops before I remembered my socks 🙈