Marty Maraschino 🍒

My insomnia thoughts last night were that I should get a tattoo of a McVities Penguin wrapper and honestly I don’t think it’s that bad an idea. They are god-tier biscuits.

@empiremagazine.bsky.social re: the new Tomb Raider film, if someone doesn’t shut the butler in a walk-in freezer before the opening credits roll I’m switching it off.

The image I’ll always have of Ruben Amorim is sitting in the dugout at Grimsby unable to watch the penalty shootout. Imagine Alex Ferguson doing that.

It had to be done. I like Jimmy and he’s written himself in to history with that Scottish Cup win. But asides from a 12 game unbeaten run when he started it’s been absolutely dreadful for a year and a half. Clueless football. No shots on target against Falkirk is not good enough.

My 2026 bingo card!

So we just make outlandish predictions that might actually come true, that’s how this works?

It’s only a matter of time for those David Jason revelations.

Russell Montmartin

Hmmm, I’m not sure eating worms is a great solution to your popularity problems, but it’s worth a try I guess.

To paraphrase the great Rob Reiner, on what day did the Lord create Donald Trump, and couldn’t he have rested on that day too?

Sorry we’re so behind, it’s Christmas and we’re busy… no shit.

Ordered something from Zavvi on 24th November, it still hasn’t been dispatched. Fobbing me off with placeholder emails and apologies and haven’t even replied to my last message requesting the order to be cancelled. Looking at their Twitter I’m far from the only one. AVOID.

James Van Der Beek Auctioning Off Dawson’s Creek Items Amid Cancer Journey James Van Der Beek has put several Dawson’s Creek and Varsity Blues items up for auction as he continues to battle stage 3 colon cancer.

You are infinitely closer to struggling than you ever will be to billionaires

A 3-way title fight going in to the last F1 race of the season next weekend. You love to see it.

I’m on my third attempt to sit through the new Superman film, I fell asleep two nights in a row and tonight I have it paused and I’m on my phone because it’s shite.

I’m rewatching Peep Show for the first time in about 15 years and I’d forgotten how brilliant it is. “Frosties are just Corn Flakes for people who can’t face reality”

Can’t believe Trump is finally dead.

The new CMAT album is here and it’s perfect.

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Champions League playoff, penalty shootout with £40m on the line and the daft cunt tries (and misses) a panenka 😂

That flag is obscuring your view of me 😂 I was in the Y, back row, squashed up against that monstrosity of a screen.

TimTams are just Penguins, I will die on this hill.

It’s genuinely difficult sometimes to tell what’s real and what’s AI / deepfake with Trump because he says such mental shit in real life.

For some reason last year I decided to watch every Katie Holmes film in order. After 24 I took a break and now I’ve started again. Tonight was number 25 - The Woman In Gold (2015, dir Simon Curtis), which was excellent.

Next up: Touched With Fire (2016, dir Paul Dalio)

Fantasy Premier League, Official Fantasy Football Game of the Premier League Official Fantasy Premier League 2025/26. Free to play fantasy football game, set up your fantasy football team at the Official Premier League site.

Started a league for Dandies
Might allow a few interlopers fae the Diddy clubs
Winner gets bragging rights over everyone else
fantasy.premierleague.com/leagues/auto...