Michelle the Voweler

Monkey Mechanic
Where are you when I need you
These guys can’t fix shit

Moms and dads are crashing the IRS site because it’s so expensive to raise kids in America

Why do tv people make one person play both twins sometimes. Why don’t they just hire twins.

Uncertunity. I love it!

ELANA MEYERS TAYLOR FINALLY WINS GOLD YOU GUYS!!! She finally does it, tying Bonnie Blair to be the most decorated winter Olympian in USA history!!!

Nolte will win silver, with Armbruster Humphries bronze

Lisa Buckwitz, Melanie Hasler, and Melissa Lotholz top 6

That shirt is sweet!

Things that will make us love each other:
1. Hitchhiking
2. UNO
3. Elks lodges
4. Kangaroo pills
5.

Starting to suspect that ozark hillbillies are not the most reliable mechanics hmmmm

Oddly reminds me of Frito-Lay

Well that was a rabbit hole

Care dot com for the elderly… Who die then go to get their angel wings. The wing stop is on the top floor just below the helipad to Jesus.

ChatGPT promised to help her find her soulmate. Then it betrayed her ChatGPT sent screenwriter Micky Small down a fantastical rabbit hole. Now, she's finding her way out.

Takeaway: you can be hopelessly dumb and still get into a master’s program

CURLING BEEF! CURLING BEEF! CURLING BEEF! CURLING BEEF!

(I never post Olympic videos bc the IOC will hunt you down but I am taking that risk so that you can hear the Canadian curling cursing)

I bet that statistically the number one reason American women aren’t having more kids is because they had to push a stroller around those big honkers on a sidewalk one too many times.

Breaking the Epstein Class and Taking Back America — with Mike Nellis and Adam Mockler Quick bonus episode with my buddy Adam Mockler.

“The 2028 path: populism + anti-corruption or bust – We lay out what Democrats actually need to run on: the most aggressive economic populist agenda since FDR and the toughest anti-corruption platform since Teddy Roosevelt.”

open.substack.com/pub/endlessu...

Amazon search history with the following searches: blah blah blah • i do not wanna be your boyfriend • stop giving me notes • i do not want to be your friend • i'm just your friend valentine's card • i'm just your friend valentine's card do not ... X • i'm just your friend valentine's wait hold on i i aotta order that first hold on

A girl in my 7-year-old nephew’s class has a crush on him, but he doesn’t feel the same way.

This is his Amazon search history for her Valentine’s card.

I no longer think my minivan will make it to 400k miles. She deserved that trip to California last fall and instead I never made it past Arizona, I just turned and went to Colorado instead, but by golly I’m still determined to do it. For me, and for Vanny.

I wish that every time these people opened their mouths they’d use like 80% fewer words. Less bombast, more mic drops.

“.. Noem and Lewandowski frequently berate senior level staff, give polygraph tests to employees they don’t trust and have fired employees—in one incident, Lewandowski fired a U.S. Coast Guard pilot after Noem’s blanket was left behind on a plane ..”

@wsj.com
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...

Yeah so quit your shitty ass jobs dudes

No akshually the D after his name stands for Dumbass

In today’s Winter Olympics photo of the day, see the Ukrainian Olympic athlete whose memorial helmet got him disqualified from the Games: theatln.tc/ATHGnQrA

📸: Robert Michael / DPA / Reuters

House Republicans revolt over GOP’s attempt to hand Trump Congress’ tariff authority In a rare defeat, three House Republicans bucked their leaders to block legislation that would have restricted Congress’ ability to strike down Trump’s tariffs.

Breaking MS NOW:

In a major defeat for Mike Johnson, 3 House Republicans bucked their leaders to block legislation that would have restricted Congress' ability to strike down Trump’s tariffs.

The final tally was 214-217, with 3 Republicans joining Democrats in opposition.

I didn’t vote for starvation I voted for BLACK LUNG DAMNIT

…even if his drunk ass accidentally pulled the trigger while aiming his firearm at his daughter’s chest for educational purposes, the grand jury’s decision still makes no sense.

Oh my god

Keep it comin’ Marj.

This fund has supported over 160 households so far. We are still hoping to help families in March, so we need your help with contributions and sharing the link with your network.

Donate to Support Powderhorn Families with Urgent Rent Relief, organized by Powderhorn Neighbors 2.5.26 Update: Saying “Your rent is covered,” has mattered … Powderhorn Neighbors needs your support for Support Powderhorn Families with Urgent Rent Relief

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to the Powderhorn Rent Fund. Unfortunately, Governor Walz has refused to enact an eviction moratorium, so we need the help of our community.

gofund.me/335f2d840

Fuck