Joel M. Smith

For You Do Not Know What Hour The alarm on my phone went off at 4am. “Good morning! It’s time to wake up. It is June 15th, and the time is 4am. Sunrise today will be at 5:52am. The weather today will be partly cloudy, with a high ...

In honor of the upcoming rapture on the 23rd, reposting my short story

FOR YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT HOUR

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America likes to call itself a melting pot, but it's realistically more of a charcuterie board. You have all these unique, wonderful flavors, but then you keep making it worse by adding too many crackers.
- David Nihill

They say the machines of the future will be as smart as people.
Ok, but WHICH people? Because it kinda matters quite a bit.

Sometimes my most important achievement for the whole day is keeping my mouth shut and not losing my shit on some poor person who just had the misfortune of being the annoying straw that broke the camel's back.
🤐

Thoughts for your consideration.

The show Happy Days was made in the 70s about life in the 50s. If it was made today, it would about life in the year 2000.

The baby from Three Men and a Baby is 37 years old now.

They'd all be happier people if they retired from politics and opened a nice little bed and breakfast. They could get Viktor Orbán as a fourth and call the place "Four Fascists". They'd be famous for their menu, which would be whatever the fuck they decide to make, eat it you ungrateful peasants.

Orange Hilter, Musk, and Putin's polyamorous throuple would be adorable if they weren't all so thoroughly corrupt and evil.

Only you can prevent wildfires. Really. Just you. Orange Hitler laid everyone else off.

"This is the stuff we learned in grade school!"
--People That Never Learned Anything After Grade School

Question: What borders on insanity? Answer: Mexico and Canada in 2025

This is just to remind you that the French acronym for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is TDAH, which stands for Trouble déficit de l'attention/hyperactivité.

So when ADHD strikes again, just do a pose and go "T'DAH!"

That is literally painful to read.

WE ARE STILL IN THIS.
Wipe your tears.
This is the difficult business of hope and defying expectation.
We do not give up.
We run through the tape.

Y’all aren’t allowed to throw in the towel until I do. 😉

Big breath. Locked in. Let’s do this.

Hell yeah!

The vision wasn’t expected. Hell, there’d been no indication visions were even a thing. So it was understandably upsetting when the vision unceremoniously added itself to the growing mental list of SHIT JAKE DOESN’T KNOW.

OUTSIDER - Chapter 1
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#writing #sci-fi

It took 100 generations for humankind to plumb the depths of space. It was another 50 generations before we could travel in time. But then only 20 generations before we were able to seek out our makers.

#writing #sci-fi

Proper Care and Feeding
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Hidden Master “Hey! Stop fartin’ around!” The voice brings me up short. I lower my foot from the last crescent kick that I'd been doing, just inches from the new guy’s face. “I was just showing him the technique,...

“Hey! Stop fartin’ around!”

Sensei's voice brings me up short. I lower my foot from the last crescent kick I'd been doing, just inches from the new guy’s face.

“I'm just showing him the technique,” I say, my face innocent.

#writing #sci-fi

Hidden Master
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For You Do Not Know What Hour The alarm on my phone went off at 4am. “Good morning! It’s time to wake up. It is June 15th, and the time is 4am. Sunrise today will be at 5:52am. The weather today will be partly cloudy, with a high of 95 degrees.” I really hate summers. The summer solstice is my most prized holy day. The summer solstice is when the days stop getting longer and start getting shorter again. Shorter days means later sunrise. Later sunrise means I get to sleep later. But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

The alarm went off. “Good morning! The time is 4am. Sunrise will be at 5:52am.”

I considered going back to sleep, but one thought got me moving.
"Life. Precious life. And it’s up to me to preserve it."

#writing #sci-fi

For You Do Not Know What Hour
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The Impending Disaster Do you remember what you were doing when you heard the Earth was going to die?

Do you remember where you were when you heard about the asteroid? Do you remember what you were doing when you heard the Earth was going to die?

#writing #sci-fi

The Impending Disaster
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The Human Wars 3 million years ago, the first humans came to Earth. They had seeded the Earth with many plants and animals they liked, adding to the ones already here. They did this over thousands of our years, and ...

3 million years ago, the first humans came to Earth. They had seeded many plants and animals they liked, adding to the ones already here. They did this over thousands of our years, and now the time was right for colonization.

#writing #sci-fi

The Human Wars
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CRISIS #DE5T1NY The fate of the world depends on the most unlikely people.

“Boss, we have a problem!” The big man came through the office door without knocking. He dropped a folder on the old man’s cluttered desk.

“When do we not, Michael?”

“I’m serious, sir! Earth is literally going to come to an end!"

CRISIS #DE5T1NY
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Image reads: If you are not a scientist and you disagree with scientists about science, it's not actually a disagreement. You're just wrong. Science is not truth. Science is about finding the truth. When science changes it's opinion, it didn't lie to you. It just learned more.

I might modify that to, if you disagree with scientists about science IN THEIR FIELD OF STUDY, you are wrong. It might be ok to disgree with Dr Oz on physics or with Neil deGrasse Tyson on heart surgery.

Theres a random fleck of catnip in the glucosamine on the kibble, on the wet food, in the hole in the middle of the food.
Theres catnip in the glucosamine on the kibble, on the wet food, in the hole in the middle of the food.
Theres a hole, theres a hole, theres a hole in the middle of the food!
5/5

Theres a dusting of glucosamine to help with aches and pains, on the kibble, on the wet food, in the hole in the middle of the food.
Theres glucosamine on the kibble, on the wet food, in the hole in the middle of the food.
There's a hole, there's a hole, there's a hole in the middle of the food.
4/5

Theres a mismatched kibble from his brother's special diet food on top of the gross gooshy food in the hole in the middle of the food.
There's a mismatched kibble on the gooshy food in the hole in the middle of the food!
And there's a hole, theres a hole, theres a hole in the middle of the food!
3/5