TheMerMolly- she/her/mer

Helping some of my family understand the concept of consent.

I’m tired.

The family text thread (which I have silenced) has shifted to a similar style to the family google chat which so left ages ago. I’d been contemplating leaving the text thread. I’m pretty sure about it now.

Oh no!! I’m so sorry!!!

I think I will after lunch! Hehe.

#inktober2025 Day 6, prompt: “pierce” #NotAnArtist

I love this book so much. It’s beautiful and hopeful.

📚🧜‍♀️🧡🐻📚

#BookSky

😱

You did not lack "character" or "toughness" or intelligence. You lacked safety, support, & realistic tools.

Extending yourself grace is not about "making excuses"-- it's acknowledging reality. You're not "the exception" who "should" have been able to figure it out"on your own.

My #sleepstudy went as well as I could hope considering the requirements. The one I did years ago included a chest band with a ton of wires so this was more comfortable. I still didn’t sleep much (though I rarely sleep WELL). I loved looking at the full moon with my kitty around 2:15 AM though! 😴🐈‍⬛🌕

You need to know it's not "crazy" for experiences you endured decades ago to still affect you so much that you need to work a recovery today. The passage of time doesn't heal anything on its own.

If anything, it deepens wounds that are not properly understood or acknowledged.

Many survivors don't even realize that their experiences w/ the medical system or a church were painful not just because those experiences sucked-- but because they reopened & deepened wounds left over from childhood neglect or bullying.

Recovery is often about connecting dots.

Low-Spend October Day 6:
$4.82 fun money spent. ($4.82 for the month)

No butter used. (1 cup for the month)

I shifted some coffee fun money around. I got an 🍎car air freshener and one fancy pumpkin spice truffle.
🎃
I was able set aside $20 for my next tattoo today!

💰💪🤑

#savingmoney #savingsgoals

I enjoyed a spontaneous trip to the used bookstore amidst my appointments and errands today. It was fun to look around to see what they had and to enjoy that delightful used bookstore aroma while listening to their relaxing music.
Do you prefer new books or used bookstore aroma while?

📚🧡📚

#BookSky

Remember: our worth does not begin & end w/ what we can do for people, how attractive or entertaining other people find us, or how closely we adhere to anyone's idea of "good."

Yeah, we like it when others are drawn to us-- but their affinity for us never "creates" our value.

Wanting to harm yourself is a super common symptom of complex trauma that many misunderstand.

They don't get that that's how badly we want to change what we're feeling & experiencing right now-- that it's an impulse that can be driven by self-preservation, not just self-hate.

Woohoo! I found some new-to-me jeans! I love shopping at Plato’s Closet for jeans because with all these preferences I mention, along with liking boot cut for flat shoes outfits and the pants needing to be the right texture, having lots of options is helpful! I can’t wait to wash them and wear them!

She hissed! Oh my!

I softly told her, “That is not appropriate behavior but at least you spoke your mind.”

I try to make nail trims as peaceful for her as possible. She’s still a little jumpy after the roof replacement last week. I almost canceled but her claws were snagging.

Walter is precious.

Be gentle w/ yourself around the trauma symptom of decision paralysis. The problem is not that you don't have enough pressure or shame to get yourself to act. It's usually the opposite: you don't feel like you have enough safety or support.

Try softer, not harder.

Juniper has her nail trim in a little over an hour. That leaves just enough time to enjoy my delicious pour-over coffee (this new bean is so good!) and a tasty skillingsboller while I read my book!

Juniper always does so well they chuckle as to why she won’t let me trim her nails at home.

#BookSky

Yesterday I wondered if keeping the jeans would be perpetuating my mom’s practice of filling my closet with clothes that don’t fit OR if it would be like my black skirt I would tuck away when it didn’t fit because I knew I’d not find another like it. I think this may be a perpetuation situation. 🤔

#Inktober2025, Day 5, prompt: “deer” #NotAnArtist

🍄

Braided hair

Hair magick or knot magick as others might call it is my „quick and dirty“ solution for example when I feel like I need to protect my energy… focus on your intention while you braid, maybe whisper the words as you do it…
#knotmagick #witchsky

Low-Spend October Day 5: $0.00 fun money spent! ($0.00 for the month)

1 cup butter used! (1 cup for the month)

Today was fun with baking Norwegian pastries! With quite a few appointments this week I’ll be having some post-appointment treats I think. ☕️

💰💪🤑
🥮👩‍🍳🥮

#savingmoney #savingsgoals #baking

Every trauma survivor I've met who has crafted a realistic recovery blueprint has come through on the other side more connected than ever to their mission in life.

Recovery isn't just about managing & resolving the past. It's about recovering, & recreating ourselves.

They are so cuuuute and so tasty!!

🥮👩‍🍳🥮

#baking #skillingsboller

Also, I freaking LOVE sweater weather!

🍁 🧣 🍂

#sweaterweather

Yum!!!

I like to imagine my bullies & abusers out there, holding their breath, waiting for me to fail-- & I like to imagine them suffocating as I work my recovery day by day, choice by choice.

Time to enjoy some skillingsboller!

A few were quite messy. 😂

Oh, the house smells lovely. Like October and November rolled into one.

🥮👩‍🍳🥮

#baking #skillingsboller

The skillingsboller are proofed and ready to bake!

🥮👩‍🍳🥮

#baking #skillingsboller

Dough was proofed in the oven with some warm water in a pot since the house is chilly. Look at that 50-minute rise!

The assembled skillingsboller are rising now before they get an egg wash then bake!

🥮👩‍🍳🥮

#baking #skillingsboller