tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵

the nfl does a few games in london every year and every time i watch one it’s hilarious because there are always plenty of people in the stadium but they’re so sedate watching it i swear to g-d they have no idea what’s happening. it charms me

[john tolkien in the shibboleth voice] morifinwë, so named for his black hair, which was brown,

something i turn over in my mind all the time is how in a specifically tolkienian sense about being bound to the world versus free to leave it, dwarves are both immortal and mortal. they age and die like men but they remain in the world in death like an elf

there are certainly tolkien characters i have no interest in but it would be a little disingenuous of me to be like “[character] is just boring, i can’t imagine why other people care about them” given that i build cathedrals out of like two lines about nothing characters i happen to be interested in

curufinwë atarinkë………………….i need to crush him within my jaws

as for art deco dwarves, i have nothing. you can see that influence in jackson’s films and their depiction of dwarves but i don’t know if that is what made it so standard

tolkien’s illustrations (and tolkien generally) were influenced by william morris and the arts and crafts movement which art nouveau grew out of. that’s the earliest connection i can think of, but i would think peter jackson probably had more to do with making it so ubiquitous

size difference elf art is kind of like watching pro sports in the sense that you see this man on your screen and he looks so petite and so little but you know full well that little man is like 6’3” and jacked, he’s just standing next to a seven footer

the art nouveau elves vs. art deco dwarves thing absolutely has hierarchical signalling going on with it but there’s some irony in art nouveau being the aesthetic of the better because of the way that in its time it was, well. the new art, and not the establishment of academicism

i post stuff like this primarily because i mean it but also it helps to fend off the wrong kind of lord of the rings guys who occasionally follow me

must’ve felt so good in the 18th century to scowl severely at another man and say “you forget yourself” and know he wants to suck you off so bad

a lot of it is concern about the field being too wet to run in but the wet baseball pitching aspect you’re talking about is also a safety thing because the reason spitballs and stuff are banned is because it makes the ball fly abnormally in a way that means hitting and injuring someone more likely

people are not wrong when they say the nfl doesn’t give a fuck about head trauma but the thing is the nfl doesn’t give a fuck if you’re tearing every ligament in your body slipping and sliding through mud and standing water either

baseball games when it rains: we need to delay the game for a few hours just to keep everyone safe :)
football games when it’s an absolutely biblical torrential downpour with 40mph winds or snowing sideways so hard the cameraman cannot find the ball: fuck it, send them out there

one trouble with real world aus of fantasy is that it’s both funny for the names to stay and funny for them to change. it’s funny to imagine there being a curufinwë fëanáro walking around boston as if that’s normal but it’s also hilarious to anglicize him as like curmudgeon frederick or something

NOOOO my condolences 🥴

LMAOOOOO you know this makes me think it’s probably partly just us both being from the south. the southern us penchant for using a really convoluted and vague sentence in public because everyone in your town knows each other

many people have an inner child, but i apparently have an inner georgian squire whose ideas of decorum occasionally take the wheel

for some reason when i’m telling a friend something in public and i realize midway through this is going to be a bit more graphic than i should really get here i am suddenly possessed by a historical gentleman. why did i refer to a boner as “the personal state of affairs that he was in”

LMAOOO genuinely there’s a tweet going around about how op’s favorite GRRMism is “mayhaps” and i was trying to assume that they just mean he uses it a lot but the replies are all agreeing that grrm created mayhaps (and several other things he absolutely didn’t make up) and i was having a stroke

there is a post right now where someone is saying “mayhaps” is their favorite grrmism and i was giving the benefit of the doubt like assuming they mean he just uses it a lot but all the (many) replies are agreeing that grrm invented mayhaps and various other things that are not from him 😭

that’s so cursed but not that surprising honestly 😭 that recurrent discourse is always the vibes of peter jackson vs the vibes of hbo being called lord of the rings vs asoiaf

NO SAME i was trying to give op the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe they just meant grrm makes particular use of it or popularized it and stuff but the replies were all like “yes george martin invented mayhaps, and these various other semi-common archaic turns of phrase” and i was like WHAT

the silmarillion fandom is not without its sins but that’s usually like well read knowledgeable people who just have dreadful opinions you hate. i wade in among asoiaf fans and people start telling me with their full chest that george rr martin invented the word mayhaps

this may strike some viewers as snobbish but i have had to accept that the silmarillion fandom has given me unrealistic expectations for how widely read i can anticipate people in fandoms being because like i venture into other corners and immediately it’s like no one has read any book ever

there has got to be a better way to humanize and have empathy for women who are bad mother figures than to just be like “it’s basically morally fine that she’s hurting this helpless child in her care because it’s a Male child and Men have power over her”

any time a story involves an adult woman being awful to a little boy i turn evil reading discussion of it because 100% of the time the takes are either hating her in a deeply misogynist way or doing full scale abuse apologia to defend her on the grounds that the victim is a boy with no in between

at some point years ago i started jokingly referring to plural elf babies as the babyar but it’s been so long now that at this point i occasionally have to remind myself that thats not like a fandom bit that people know, that’s just some shit i say. i cannot just be talking about elrond’s babyar

LMAOO i feel like it’s one of those things you can never unsee like after i thought about this once i think about it every time i see it in fantasy and historical stuff

“my lady” does not incite this wire crossing for obvious reasons but just “lady” as an address always has this hilarious element of knowing that out of the mouth of anyone alive presently this would take on a very abrupt negative edge