lorraine

you ever solve the wordle too fast and then get sad

I hate that these god damn chat gpt commercials are so good WHICH AGENCY DAMNIT

just saw the nets head coach and I swear I ain’t never seen that man in my life

are we just kicking each other in the nuts now?!!! Wtf is happening in this damn Knicks game?! 😭😭😭

I just called the patriots “cardi b’s boyfriends team” hahahhahaha

I’m running out of places to move in America

too anxious for The Pitt. too anxious for I love LA

I’m so excited to go to sleep so I can wake up and drink coffee

I got legit carded today. homeboy asked for my ID as if he thought I could maybe be 20 years of age!!!! he took my ID and say “oh wow.” I don’t even care if he was lying but as a 40 year old it was nice not to be seen as a tired mom hah!

levels coming on and me bringing down the vibe explaining that avicii is DEAD

anyone else feel like a dirtbag when their landscapers are outside doing their thing and your ass is just on the couch listening to it lol

Here’s what Dry January does to your body It’s not just better sleep — cutting back on alcohol may improve your blood sugar levels, blood pressure, insulin resistance and more.

Participants in sixteen Dry January studies reported better mood, improved sleep and weight loss, and had healthier blood pressure, blood sugar and liver function.

good vibes cost money and I will not be explaining further

why is 46 deg in Texas the coldest shit ever

please think of all your ad agency friends on this treacherous black friday cyber monday holiday we are suffering 😭😭😭

everytime I step on the scale and the number goes down I get a little more high on my own supply idk if I’ll ever do away w toxic diet culture it’s just in me unfortunately

so my child is basically potty training herself. I literally did nothing but provide a practice potty and she’s taking herself to it when she has to go. It’s lowkey bonkers. I did nothing lol

whenever I meet people who “don’t drink a lot” I’m always like WOW look at you and lowkey jealous but we are different people lol

So I had to pay for stupid fucking espn bc stupid ass billion dollar dumbass companies can’t figure shit out and now I subscribe to 9000 streamers to watch the Knicks honestly bring fucking cable back this is mutiny

not me shaking hands w the uber driver after a spirited conversation saying “just 3 more years. we’ll make it through…we’ll make it through.” 😭😭😭

Living their lives. the modern world is built against having a family and it’s an act of bravery to do it. it’s hard af and really beautiful if you can pull it off.

whenever I’m traveling alone I catch myself smiling at families like a goon. I’m not trying to be weird and maybe it’s bc I’m a mom now but I love seeing families out in the streets doing it.

not me getting wet in these streets

anyone else feel the palpable tension w TSA? I’d be moody af if I wasn’t getting paid either

This is still so crazy to me I love it!!!! Time just keeps going my friend

I had a dream that Ruby drank a pumpkin spice buzzball

I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW BIEBER ALBUM WITH

oh no gen z has discovered dolce & gabbana light blue

You know you’re super old when you’re very excited your new economic office chair just arrived. Pack it up kids I’m on deaths door

I’d go on subway takes and take a real stance like “cheese is gross” and get cancelled