Elyse Cantor

a samsung phone with tons of charms hanging from it. first tumblr caption says “how much damage does this do if i hit someone with it” second tumblr user added “they beat Jesus with that”

I’m so sorry but this is what i think of every time i see people with labubus and shit hanging from their bags

wedding officiant: y’all ready to kiss

oh hell yeah

in my day, there was a whole genre of blog post that was just variations on homemade, misspelled yard signs. i would give anything to see a yard sard

no i do not want 15% off no i do not want your newsletter no i will not accept your cookies no you can’t have my location no no No i won’t enable popups NO i won’t go off private browsing NO i will not stop RUNNING and you will NEVER CATCH ME

explaining to your kids that acab includes dogman

Gotta say, congratulations to the developers of Watch Duty, whose service has been rock solid despite twenty million Californians hitting “refresh” every thirty seconds

that fire’s not the only thing that’s wet 🫦 BA DUM TSSS

nobody’s doing it like her!!!

“you cannot kill me in a way that matters” is something i think about…idk, constantly?

i cannot stress this enough. there was no leaning of the phone, this man was actively holding up! his phone! for FIVE HOURS! watching!! NOTHING!!!!

just flew home behind a man who listened to music while holding his phone up and staring at it the entire flight. no video, no animation - just static album art, brightness higher than god. for five fucking hours.

girl i was reading it as Cake’s “The Distance” and that last line threw me off a fucking cliff 😂

hey, public water bottle filling stations? please don’t blink your red filter light at me. i don’t want to know. let me live in ignorance about this one thing, please

A picture of Sir Terry Pratchett, followed by a quote from his book "Guards! Guards!" the quote text is: “Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no.”

I'm still trying to understand how so many people could have such reckless, virulent hatred. How they could look at all the hate, all the crimes, all the promised hatred, and sit this out, or even vote for it. I just don't know.

But Sir Terry Pratchett knew things. And this seems right for today.

ummmm cute girls are VERY good at liquid liner wtf

disappearing into the void, as a little treat

‎Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet: S4E14: Elyse Cantor on Apple Podcasts ‎Show Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet, Ep S4E14: Elyse Cantor - May 7, 2024

I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything really

‎Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet: S4E14: Elyse Cantor on Apple Podcasts ‎Show Steep Conversations With Josh Lanzet, Ep S4E14: Elyse Cantor - May 7, 2024

I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything really

there is only one way to survive the existential angst and the many horrors of living. and that is A Little Treat

on my way to Mexico City last year, every screen around us at the airport was looping ads that said “travel to New Mexico” and i said “New Mexico?? I’m trying to go to Old Mexico!” i thought it was hilarious and i still do. thanks

does anyone know why all of los angeles has smelled like burnt rubber and diesel for the last day and a half?? I can’t find anything on local news

instagram has us so fucked up. literally Helen of Troy could post a selfie and some man would be in her comments like “mid”

visiting family with basic cable, so clearly there is only one thing to watch (Friends reruns) and tonight, I saw it turn over from finale to restarting with the pilot, and it does kinda feel like finally seeing the dvd logo hit the corner

those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet

photo of a tweet with the identity redacted that says: Condoms are free at campus but printing isn’t free. is sex more important than assignments?

good point! printing should also be free

weirdly finding two verified bots (???) posting the same word for word reply on some shitty take I didn’t want to see in the first place. serves me right 🫠

those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet

What's happening in Gaza is one the most odious, broad-daylight campaigns of terror against a civilian population in our lifetimes. The most important thing is drawing attention to that fact and working to stop it. Call it whatever the fuck you want.