Brandon Diehl

Made myself sad by remembering that it's physically impossible to read every book I want to read in a single lifetime.

It's me. A god-fearing conservative. I'm here to lecture you all about masculinity.

The spookiest part about Spooky Season is when my overstimulated ass has to choose between the uncomfortable feeling of dry skin and the uncomfortable feeling of lotion.

Look at he.

Just thinking about The Brave Little Toaster. Man, what a legend.

Protesting mansplaining by being a man that doesn't know anything.

A show like Ghost Adventures but everyone is autistic and they're just trying to figure out why their crush ghosted them.

I think my biggest neurodivergent tell is that I'm visibly uncomfortable during small talk, yet totally at peace when someone starts oversharing the weirdest shit I've ever heard.

Okay, this is 100 times better than my idea!

After I die, the only song I want played at my funeral is "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy.

I only have one person blocked on social media and it's because they kept sending me conspiracy theory videos about chemtrails.

Hate it when people at my job ask me if I "have any big plans for the weekend" because it's really no one's business that I'm gonna be eating dinosaur nuggets with my cat.

I bring a "late again but only because I passed some alpacas and had to pull over to say hi to them real quick" kind of vibe.

Saw that "ANTIFA escalator" was trending on social media today, which is a pretty good indicator that conservatives are having a normal one.

Too many neurotypicals will make a Tylenol joke until it's a dead meme and then go back to forgetting that autistic people exist.

I'd settle for them just acknowledging that I'm a person, but you know what? I'll take some shiny stuff! Shiny stuff rules.

Cool tip for neurotypicals: if you're having discussions about autism, you should consider...inviting autistic people into the conversation.

I’m sorry, the message was literally “ANTI-ICE” written in pen?

The real rapture is when your crush ghosts you.

We're grinding on each other for 2-3 seconds before stopping and going, "Was that okay?" and then repeating that process for the rest of eternity.

Me and all the autistic baddies are at the EDM club with our Tylenol. 💯

"Uhhhmmm, but what if that homeless dude just buys drugs with the money you gave him?"

Uhhhmmm, don't be a fucking cop. ❤️

Flirted with a really cute person today. And by "flirted," I mean I looked in their general direction for a second and then moved to a different country.

I have not seen this show at all but based on this information alone, it sounds like something I'd like! Info-dumping rules!

I got raptured but I kept info-dumping about the history of Midwest emo, so they sent me back.

What this administration doesn't realize is that autism makes you cooler. Normies are about to start snorting Tylenol.

I want the ghost of Bob Ross to come paint little trees for me when I'm sad.

I think Mr. Rogers should've fronted a hardcore punk band.

I feel this. The only way I know how to mask is by not speaking at all. 😅

The autistic experience of not wanting to be perceived by anyone while simultaneously longing so desperately for connection.