Complicated Pleasures

We've said it before and we'll say it again: 👏 FIND 👏 YOUR 👏 PEOPLE! 👏

A lifetime of shame and secrecy can melt away when you meet other people who share this part of you and who can celebrate it in themselves and in you.

1257 – Miz Darling is a Dominatrix with a Spanking Kink Strictly Anonymous Confessions · Episode

Check us out on a recent "Fetish Friday" episode of the Strictly Anonymous Confessions podcast! Miz Darling talks about Complicated Pleasures, plus her own history as a fetishist navigating relationships. open.spotify.com/episode/23HM...

Miz Darling The Bed Post Podcast · Episode

A huge THANK YOU to Erin Pim for having Miz Darling on her podcast to talk about Complicated Pleasures, plus kink vs. fetish, working as a pro Dominant and the importance of kink community. open.spotify.com/episode/0gIB...

1257 – Miz Darling is a Dominatrix with a Spanking Kink Strictly Anonymous Confessions · Episode

Miz Darling was recently on the Strictly Anonymous podcast, talking to Kathy about Complicated Pleasures, as well as her own experience as a fetishist navigating sexuality and relationships. open.spotify.com/episode/23HM...

An important quote from an important book. If not for social stigma, how many of us would have come to love and accept this side of ourselves a long time ago?

Ep 49 - Complicated Pleasures: Can Fetish, Kink, and Romance Coexist? with Miz Darling The Kink Consultant · Episode

Want to hear more about the Complicated Pleasures fetish relationship book project, straight from the authors? We're on Amanda's podcast talking about the book, plus fetish versus kink, spanking, foot fetish, cuckolding and more! open.spotify.com/episode/3G4O...

When you have a fetish, is it one distinct part of you, or your 24/7 core? Do fetishists differ in our ability (or willingness) or compartmentalize it in relationships? We're hoping these interviews will give us some clues.

There are books for couples who disagree about money, parenting, politics, religion.
But what about when the difference is sexual wiring?
That’s what we’re writing.
complicatedpleasures.ca
#fetish #BDSM #relationships

Kinky folks, how long did it take you to fully "come out" to yourself?

Interview excerpt from a fetishist who's been happily married to a normative (vanilla) partner for over 50 years. ❤️

Now seeking:
🖤 Fetishists in long-term relationships
🖤 Partners of fetishists
🖤 Real stories—whether they worked or didn’t
We’re creating a book of anonymous case studies. Link in bio.
#ComplicatedPleasures

One of the greatest quotes of all time, and just as true for us folks in the kink/fetish community as anyone else.

Thanks to everyone filled out our survey at ComplicatedPleasures.ca! We're in the process of sorting through responses and beginning to contact people for interviews, but it's going to take some time.

Interview excerpt from a kinkster in a 25+ year relationship with a fetishist (polyamorous for the past 15+ years).

Another interview excerpt. Wisdom from someone in a 10+ year fetish-compatible relationship.

We kicked off our first interview for the book last night, with a long-time member of the Toronto kink scene! Here's her advice for people struggling with their fetish. Do you agree?

Starting to comb through our candidate submissions, and we love when we come across beautiful stories like this one. Can't wait to hear more (and share it with you all in the book!).

Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That's why we want to start speaking up and sharing stories about fetish and the way it affects relationships.

Who was the first person you ever told about your fetish? How did they react? How did that reaction shape your decision to tell people or explore your fetish going forward?

You don't have to comment, but it might be worth taking a moment to reflect privately on your answers.

We only started spreading the word about this project on Tuesday, and already we have 36 survey submissions to participate as case studies for the book! We're feeling pretty overwhelmed with gratitude for the support this project is already receiving. Thank you! ❤️

We know a lot of fetishists in relationships with vanillas—some genuinely happy, some who worry it will never work out because of sexual incompatibilities. IF ONLY the second group could hear more stories about how the first group makes things work... >> complicatedpleasures.ca 👀👀👀

Desire doesn’t always make sense. That doesn’t make it wrong.

Ever tried to make a relationship work when your partner didn’t share your fetish?
Or loved someone who needed kink in a way you didn’t understand?
Your story might help someone else feel less alone.
Tell it anonymously: complicatedpleasures.ca

We fetishists sure do love speculating about HOW we developed these fetishes, but at the end of the day, aren't the most important questions how and with whom we explore them?

"Fantasy & reality aren’t actually opposites, they're entangled.

Kink doesn’t work when you separate them too cleanly or blend them too much either.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and but in a very particular way, with a fine line between healthy & 'oh shit.'

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We’re collecting real, anonymous stories from fetishists and their partners—for a book about the messy, beautiful, painful, and powerful ways kink shows up in love.
Want to tell yours? Start here: complicatedpleasures.ca
#ComplicatedPleasures