Drew

If there's one thing I'm going to take, it's umbrage.

I feel like it has to be real because someone dumb enough to have an AI boyfriend would also be dumb enough to put the ring on the wrong hand for an engagement 😭

I was so focused on judging the ring that I didn't realize it was an AI boyfriend post until the last paragraph 🫠

I haven't bought anything old in a while. Need to go thrifting soon...

I tried cooking with the Swiss chard from my CSA and I think I just hate Swiss chard because this shit is boot nasty

I used to hate grocery shopping and meal planning, but now it's a fresh challenge instead of a repetitive chore. AND I'm supporting local farms which makes me feel oh so morally superior

I got my first CSA shares for the season and it's like reignited my love for cooking. I just have all this produce now that I didn't choose, so I gotta come up with or find recipes to make use of these veggies. It's actually fun?

ur so beautiful I'm frothing at the mouth and also other places

This is the first ever season of the ultimatum that I have ever watched. I just hate the format of forced infidelity and how immediately most of the cast gets over leaving their current partners. Literally everyone is rubbing me the wrong way.

I'm trying to watch season 2 of queer ultimatum and I have not been vibing with it, but what really adds insult to injury is the SHIT pop music they have between each scene change.

Is it bad that I never watched it because I didn't think it sounded interesting???? I just took screenshots of the actress on Instagram 🙈🙈
Also Penn Badgley was in Easy A???? I learned that recently and it blew my mind

She was an unevolved being who just saw long dark hair and a nice smile. She didn't see your higher self, which is obviously a Miranda.

I love watching dating shows with friends and saying out loud when a woman's necklace competes with her neckline

I have only ever used Samsung phones and I truly do prefer them to iPhone, but this shit is so ass and I'm sick of it.

I keep rejecting the same guy on tinder and hinge over and over again. He is nothing if not persistent. He's 6'7" so maybe I should just give it up.

Straight culture is so fucking annoying why does every recipe online have to be called "marry me [blank]"
Come up with something different I BEG of you

I always thought I was a Miranda because I am a raging feminist, but I think I'm realizing that I'm a Carrie.

I'm imprudent, hopelessly romantic to the point of being embarssingly down bad for any guy that looks my way, and I have lots of shoes.

I came home, mixed myself a STRONG cocktail, and I have drunk just the right amount to feel like I should have every single food item in NYC delivered for dinner

Gin and tonics so good. I'm quinine-pilled

My only thing with the lip sync lalaparuza is that these girls did not know how to time their reveals

The next cosmetics "blindness" people will talk about is going to be nose blush blindness. Too many Rudolphs and it's not even Christmas Eve.

Of course this is the year I have multiple friends getting married and 7 flights already in the books that I normally wouldn't have to take. My mom travels for work so I'm even more concerned for her sake.

Not to remake the same post as everyone else but fuck I am really getting scared of flying hahahahahaha

I haven't had any alcohol between new years and this evening. Tonight, I had three scotch cocktails and an espresso martini. I can understand why some people are alcoholics because I feel fucking fantastic

When I listen to Doechii, I get the same feeling I had when I first heard Nicki's verse on Monster. Like, "Oh shit this woman is changing the game"

I don't see the problem with large foreheads in the first place. I feel like it started with jokes about Rihanna and men with receding hairlines, and now pop culture has manufactured a completely new insecurity

When did it become such a trend to say you have a big forehead? Did people think your hairline should start immediately after your eyebrows? Why am I seeing people with the tiniest, most petite faces saying "omg I look like an egg sorry about my fivehead"

hour #gouache study from my sketchbook

every movie should feature Amy Sedaris making a cameo appearance

He's a stock trader who rides BMW motorcycles and plays rugby. I think I would remember that??