jessmkell

Went to bed with a shirt on and woke up without it on smdh the hat man is getting brave

What’s the psychology behind me being able to and WANTING TO keep my house clean but I hated cleaning my shitty little apartment and it was always dirty

Like this place is bigger but I don’t mind cleaning it and it makes me happy to

a photo of mortimer and bella goth (both elders) napping in the living room of the goth mansion

i have the most fun when i play the sims 2

me playing the sims 2:

sometimes you have to instacart JUST diet coke so you can make a little whiskey drink in order to not punch a hole in the drywall

Spent 45 minutes on my makeup fighting with allergies just to crash out the second it’s done and have to redo it 🤪

My bpd is about to rediagnose itself hahahahahaha

Liking every one of my husbands skeets so he doesn’t mistake my adhd for not loving him

I am so stressed and so overwhelmed

Leave it to the pussy worker to get the one autoimmune disease that only affects the pussy

absolutely not 🙃

Not looking forward to this 😭

i move in 6 days and found out today that the old tenants physically ripped off the power meter???? interesting development

i marry my soulmate in less than 3 months

popping a gummy and mangling a cold rotisserie chicken with my bare hands in the kitchen at 9pm is so special

being with a trans man who is healing hand and finger tattoos is a criminal offence. Those are for ME not for YOU smdh

Fitness pole in ur mouth, etc etc

A SKELATAN DOING A DRAMATIC WRESLING MOVE OFF THE TOP ROPE TO SLAM HULK HOGANS RACIST ASS INTO DA GRAVE "OFF THE TOP ROPE " "MAY ALL RACESTS REST IN PISS" "YOU WONT BE MISSED" - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

BYE - dashare.zone ADMIN

Losing whales fucking sucks, and it sucks even more when they give a big sob story and say “I need to work on myself”

Boy I am an orgasm delivery girl what are you SAYING to me

every time i spend time with my tattoo artist i try harder and harder to convince him to join a throuple with koty and i

honestly ill just watch i dont even have to be involved

Who was gonna tell me that the more tattoos I get the more I can’t stand the gaps

i only get to see my love for less than 24 hours, and at least 3 of those hours are going to be tattooing. BUT IM SO EXCITED TO SNIFF HIM

i stayed up til 3 am yesterday playing animal crossing and had to force myself to put it down even when i was falling asleep

feels like 2020 😭

I’m sorry! Did I just see a chiropractor suck on grant o’Brien’s toe on gods internet????

Shhh go get me a cigarette out of my purse

This is my favorite tweet of all time

june was an amazing month and so far july is projected to suck complete donkey ass

if you are someone who needs stability, probably dont go into sw

[northernlion voice]

me: counting my chickens
my chickens: not hatched

and how was jonah's post coitus choccy milk

what better time for my millionth rewatch of mad men than when i have just SO many other things i should be doing

Idk man I just miss my husband