ace 🧸🥄

i hate gay halloween what do you mean you’re slutty jesse pinkman??

so true

I actually have to take off my shirt for your x-ray

poetic tbh

me amassing soup recipes that everyone likes

It would be so much easier to keep my home tidy if I didn't have to live in it

Women like me even though I forget a lot of stuff and I'm a little boring and I don't take my makeup off . They do

what if chatgpt is just aliens testing us to see how dumb humans really are before they take over

“1 in the cooter 2 in the pooter”
8 words that should’ve never been uttered, but we can’t go back

still thinking about this post

y’all when i said wiener buns

is it bc i said maxxing too many times in one night

real

bisexual lesbian realness, i’m speaking my truth

resisting the urge to hit on a very obviously straight girl just bc her boobs look great in that shirt #lesbianmaxxing

i’m like if a lesbian also occasionally had sex with men

cramping at the club 🫶🏼 #periodmaxxing

i’m like if a guy had big naturals and long luscious lashes

sleep all day, fast food, boba, home, hamilton movie, nap, bowling, vodka double shot, home, weed, bar, pool table, nother drink, booyah

real

real

A box of popcorn that says Orville Redenbacher's naturals.

absolutely losing it over Orville Redenbacher's naturals

loungemaxxing

i’m like if a guy was addicted to lounging

just told my sister that instead of calling myself fat i’m gonna start calling myself a size queen

SWEET LITTLE BABY

can somebody please invent willy wonka style candies that satiate ur appetite for 24 hours and also give u all the nutrients u need already. what year is it dafuk

Human sized dog bed? How do you know it’s not a human size cat bed?

what is it with men and ghosting? who told them that was cool?