Scene Candy

Refilling my coffee this morning and a horrible sentence fell out of my mouth the way a phone falls into a public toilet. You can't stop it, you just watch it happen.

"Splash some hot brown in my mug"

trans rights forever

Are you hitting on me?

Not my favorite, but wasn't mad about it.

Dave Coulier has lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. In order to diagnose lymphoma, doctors need to do an excisional biopsy of a lymph node, which means they did indeed Cut. It. Out.

Trying a new cocktail with butternut squash!

I think if you're gonna name your kid Ralph you've gotta be damn sure...

The Future of Orion xkcd.com/3012

Nobody:

Kendrick Lamar:

Satire publication The Onion buys Alex Jones' Infowars at auction with Sandy Hook families' backing A federal bankruptcy judge in Texas has ordered a hearing into how the satirical news publication The Onion won the bidding for conspiracy theorist Alex Jones’ Infowars, after Jones and his lawyers ra...

The Onion bought Infowars 😂
apnews.com/article/onio...

I'm 37 years old, and my parents just started referring to me as "baby child". I love it, and it's 100% the rebrand I've been waiting for.

38-YEAR-OLD: pretty soon here I’ll get in shape

When someone asked for a toy version of the car from Ferris Bueller, someone clearly heard them and wildly misunderstood the assignment.

(fred schneider voice) baby shoes, never WORN

Microdosing on “racists getting their ass beat” by remembering twisted tea

Did you go back and forth at all with writing "a lil bit a u makes me your ham"?

A lil bit a Peppa Pig in my life
A lil bit a Piglet by my side
A lil bit a Wilbur is all I need
A lil bit a Babe is what I see
A lil bit a Miss Piggy in the sun
A lil bit a Pumbaa all night long
A lil bit a Porky Pig here I am
A lil bit a u makes me ur man
Feral Hogs Number 30-50

I'm sorry, but can I use beer soap to clean my hair, body, face, teeth, and dishes? I don't have all these pockets on my clothes for holding varieties of soaps.

I almost always argue on the side of practical effects, but there's so many scenes throughout the series where I just see it as a puppet. It moves like a puppet, I get that it is, in fact, a puppet, but so many others feel so much more real than Grogu. It's distracting.

"Still punk as fuck," I whisper as I tighten the straps on my CPAP mask.

I've gone so long convinced I couldn't keep a plant longer than a month without killing it. These friends are going strong some over a year!

Remember The Sandlot? I Bet You Do, You Old Piece of Shit I can already tell you do by the look of your thin-ass wiry grey hair, you old fucking piece of shit.

Remember The Sandlot? I Bet You Do, You Old Piece of Shit

Hey baby, are you a firework? You're loud as fuck and you're scaring my dog.

I've recently started singing Modest Mouse songs in a Run DMC cadence. My houseplants look annoyed.

Yeah I'm a punk, a punk bitch.

You either are gorgeous or you can spell it. 💅💅💅💅