When your "perfect" Thanksgiving prep leads to a small kitchen fire, you end up here. 🔥 Motel room smells less like smoke, more like freedom.
We'll see you for the annual Thanksgiving buffet, if you're brave enough. 🦃
#ThanksgivingFails #MotelLife #BurntTurkey
23.11.2025 18:44 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
If you hear "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (or any other holiday tunes) in our lobby before Black Friday, please notify the front desk immediately. That's a code violation. We're prioritizing stuffing digestion over caroling. 🚫🎄🎶
#MotelLife #ThanksgivingVibes #HamOrTurkey #CornbreadStuffing
16.11.2025 11:25 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Costume Contest Winners "Worf of Wallstreet" still have not located teammate Benny. Benny was wearing the red shirt so we aren't feeling optimistic about his whereabouts. If you've seen an intoxicated Trekkie red shirt on the loose, please do not approach, he is skittish. Call the front desk. 🖖
15.11.2025 09:32 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
🚀 Beam Me Up, Breakfast! 👽
Our lobby is officially a portal! Loving the interstellar vibes from the Sci-Fi Convention crew! Just saw a Wookiee order an extra towel and there's members of Starfleet in every direction. Don't forget your room key, time travelers! 🌌✨
#MotelLife #SciFiCon #ImIntoIt
14.11.2025 13:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Northern Lights are simply the exhaust fumes from the Galactic Commuter Fleet stopping for gas and snacks. We know this because they stopped here. Even space aliens complain about broken ice machines, apparently 🙄 we're working on it! Enjoy the fun fumes making pretty colors in the sky!
13.11.2025 07:39 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Our world famous (and possibly immortal) scrambled eggs are ready!
Are they a little rubbery? Yes. Will they provide the energy you need to check out on time? We promise nothing!
But they're free, they're warm, and they look great under the fluorescent lighting.
#breakfastisserved #maybecereal
12.11.2025 11:05 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It's 2:40 AM. The lobby is giving off distinct "abandoned horror movie set" vibes. I've seen things tonight, folks. Things that cannot be unseen. If you need me, I'll be mainlining stale coffee and silently judging your check-in request for a wake-up call at 4:15 a.m. ☕️
#NightAudit #MotelMysteries
12.11.2025 04:42 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Our continental breakfast is ready! We guarantee it's 100% free and 150% carbs. It's the perfect pre-road trip fuel for questioning your life choices ☕️🥯
#motellife #freebreakfast #justgivemecreamcheese
11.11.2025 10:28 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Newest review:
"Check-in was quick. Checkout might involve a hazmat crew. 5 stars for the authentic vintage vending machine."
#RoadsideChic #MotelVibes
10.11.2025 05:36 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
We call it "vintage charm." You might call it "questionable stains." Either way, the vacancy sign is on! 🌟
#RoadTrip #MotelLife
09.11.2025 21:25 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Flight canceled? Escape the terminal floor! We have vacancies and beds you can actually lie down in.
Your luggage may be lost, but your dignity doesn't have to be!
#StrandedButCozy #CarRentalSuggestionsWelcome #countryroadstakemehome
09.11.2025 07:58 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
You get your own key!
09.11.2025 07:38 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
a neon sign that says vacancy open in red and blue
ALT: a neon sign that says vacancy open in red and blue
A guest paid for the room entirely with expired Blockbuster coupons. I authorized it. I don't get paid enough to argue with the guy who owns a Blockbuster coupon stash.
Just me, the flickering neon sign, and the deep existential dread of 3rd shift. Send coffee. ☕️
#nightauditor #caffeineaddiction
09.11.2025 05:53 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
We generally don't deal with Karens of any spelling so we're almost certain her incident was not related to us or the casino. Pretty sure. Like, 60%.
08.11.2025 22:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
You don't HAVE to, but you are welcome to!
08.11.2025 22:28 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
We'd love to have you!
08.11.2025 22:28 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Need a place that feels less like a getaway and more like a time-travel experiment gone wrong? Our ice machine is currently operational, which we understand is a rare treat! (Warning: It only dispenses two cubes at a time) Book now! The mold is free, but the memories are priceless. 🥶🛏️
08.11.2025 18:00 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
If that were true we would have mentioned our current special of 25% off with code FAUXYEAH
08.11.2025 14:46 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Continental Breakfast: A glorious spread of beige food and the world's most aggressively lukewarm coffee. I call it 'Culinary Existentialism.' 🥐🥚☕
#MotelLife #SadBreakfast #ItsFoodish
08.11.2025 12:58 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
You're probably looking for our Summer Camp themed room. It has 3 sets of bunk beds, triple bed style. 9 beds total, amount of people you can fit on them is up to you. The couch also opens into a queen bed! As always, roll-aways are available by request. We're always ready for the party!
08.11.2025 06:20 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The coffee machine is currently running on pure sarcasm and chaos. Please enjoy the continental breakfast in four hours, which we promise will taste much better than the decisions currently being made on the second floor.
We’re fine. Everything is fine.
#motellife #nightshift #rm224 #pineapple
08.11.2025 05:55 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1
WANTED: Night Auditor. Duties include: pretending the ice machine works and ignoring screams. Free stale coffee. Apply if your moral compass is broken.
08.11.2025 00:34 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0
We'll discuss this with our lawyers and see what we can do to room and board Kenneth.
07.11.2025 16:16 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Annual Broom & Cauldron Convention is officially underway in Conference Rooms B and C! 🧙♀️🧹
Spotted: Three different covens aggressively debating whether the "Ancient Scrying Pool" session is better than the "Advanced PowerPoint Potioning" seminar.
After party @ 11pm 🥂 byob (BYO Broom)
07.11.2025 14:49 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
To celebrate National Awkwardly Shaped Bar Soap Day (we made that up), we're giving you a break.
💸Get 25% off your next stay💸
Ditch the boring hotels and get yourself into some premium nostalgia!
USE CODE: FAUXYEAH
Book your stay before the 'No Vacancy' sign mysteriously fixes itself!
07.11.2025 12:35 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
🚨🚨🚨
Notice-
Kenneth has returned to what he believes is his own personal lake. The pool will be closed until further notice. Swimming with Kenneth cannot be allowed again, Mr O'Leary didn't learn from his mistake but the rest of us should.
Again, pool is closed until Kenneth skedaddles.
🚨🚨🚨
07.11.2025 10:52 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Heads up, travelers: Room 33 comes with a bonus amenity! 👻 Our long-term resident, "Agnes," is at it again, gently rearranging the linens and occasionally hiding the TV remote!
She promises not to drink all the tiny shampoos.
Think of it as turn-down service, with flair.
07.11.2025 10:19 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The only thing louder than the vibrations from the highway outside is the pattern on the wallpaper in Room 212. Don't worry, they both stop around 3am.
Come for the questionable coffee, stay because your credit card declined elsewhere.
Book your unforgettable, slightly regrettable stay today!
07.11.2025 05:48 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The investigation is still ongoing and our lawyers have advised us to not discuss any details until further notice.
07.11.2025 04:05 — 👍 20 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
You asked for adventure, we delivered. The good news? Our ice machine works (sometimes). The bad news? You're going to hear a very intense conversation about cryptocurrency through the wall at 3 AM. It’s called immersion, darling. 💅
Book a night, make some memories (and maybe a few enemies).
07.11.2025 03:33 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
