Andrea K

He’s sexting me I’m watching a 5minute TikTok about the natural diaspora of freshwater fish species

All I do is burn my mouth on hot food, slack off on my skincare routine, get in physical altercations w my cat, and miss places that no longer exist

Yay three day weekend one for each of my boyfriends

Lord help me I don’t want another Celsius. I want a nap

When I’m on my lunch break and my friends aren’t online or texting me back immediately I’m like uh hello excuse me

Forever thinking about how we missed out on the Claudia Kamala brat coconut tree gen x girlboss co-presidency era

Pam bondi don’t you feel nauseous. Don’t you feel sick

Have five tempura shrimps for lunch. you will not regret having five tempura shrimp for lunch

If by “torn cornea” you mean “the hypocritical optics of teaming up with convicted sex trafficker Gislaine Maxwell to alleviate the Epstein files saga”, then sure.

BREAKING: We just subpoenaed the Epstein files.

As a survivor of sexual assault, I know the pain & trauma survivors carry. This subpoena is a massive victory for every survivor who has ever been silenced, dismissed, or harmed.

Bondi must release the files immediately. We demand accountability.

I just wanna say in case anyone is judging me for posting videos of myself dancing sexy in heels. The likes are full of gay people and you are not my target audience

Giggling kicking my feet posting my daily story so my homegirls and hoes can like it. It’s not a selfie or anything it’s a political commentary

Something something the Epstein situation and how at every job I’ve ever had there’s been a man accused of bad or violent sexual behavior at work, a woman villainized for drawing attention to it, and then the whole thing is downplayed by management with no policy or staff changes.

Something something the Epstein situation and how patriarchal violence is not the mythical enemy our leaders claim it is but actually the very foundation of our political machine

Last night I walked into the function with my hair freshly done and my crush’s ex salty at me, I had so much confidence I didn’t know how to act 😭 had to be held back from starting smth

I used to think I was the one who wasn’t cool because I was not familiar with Harry Potter now as an adult. I know y’all are the ones who need to grow up and watch fucking Star Trek.

I’m tired of being treated like I’m the weird one for not getting Harry Potter references

Harry Potter is such a bait and switch cause the hair is bad and there’s not even pot

Harry Potter fucking sucks and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t

We need equal rights for adults who fucking hate Harry Potter I don’t want to pretend to entertain this shit anymore

One thing my strict parents did for me that I originally resented but am now grateful for is not letting me read Harry Potter. I’m not emotionally attached to that shit and now I’m annoyed at adults who are

Only like half the time I’ve learned

it’s kinda like a George costanza Opposite Day thing

do you ever get a call from a random number that usually you wouldn’t answer but for some reason you’re like fuck it whos calling me

Constantly haunted by the spectre of that Australian owl. “Look how calm she is as well” 😭

Gonna try this new thing where every night at 12 I do my skincare and go the fuck to sleep

It looks like I’m going to start working 7 days a week. It’s bleak out here guys

the smartest person you know is taking a nap rn

Ocasio-Cortez raised $9.6 million in three months, smashing her own record It’s a massive haul for the progressive lawmaker who has been barnstorming the country with Bernie Sanders.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pulled in a massive fundraising haul amid progressive calls for her to launch a 2028 primary challenge against Sen. Chuck Schumer

It’s the time of year where I gauge how plugged in I am based on the size of the artists’ names I recognize on music festival posters