Matt OGrady

The press and the Republicans spent a lot of time moving the goalposts for what is acceptable. Dan Quayle misspelled potato and he’s done. Howard Dean got passionate and he’s done. Trump writes Heated Rivalry fanfic about a big strong man who can’t resist kissing him and the press thinks that’s ok.

They haven’t figured out that sometimes it’s ok to say nothing.

Could you imagine having so much free time that you’d willingly watch the Melania documentary?

IG will not let me upload this.

So judgmental.

The emptiness of arms
The openness of thighs
The pornography of bullets
The promises and prizes can't disguise
We are all cowards now

Correct.

You have the right not to be killed
Murder is a crime
Unless it was done
By a policeman
Or an aristocrat
Oh, know your rights

Ok, apps, time to change from your Christmas-themed icons back to your regular ones.

I finally know what love is.

But will we be greeted as liberators?

I’m going to bet most of the kidnapping/regime change apologists on social media had never even heard the name Maduro before Thanksgiving and even fewer care about the human rights of the people of Venezuela.

Five days in to the new year and I’m STILL writing 2025 on my ransom notes.

I bet those FIFA peace prize judges are feeling pretty silly right about now.

I guess Trump’s first order of business in Venezuela will be to eliminate their universal healthcare.

Remember this?

Why does a country that eats more meat than the rest of the world worry about not getting enough protein?

Passing a cognitive test is good. If they keep making you take cognitive tests… that’s not so good.

Only a few hours in and I’ve already broken my resolution to never trust a big butt and a smile.

Real ones partied until 12:26. Happy New Year!

My brand of rock and roll is best experienced in pictures.

I’m jealous. It takes me a long time to make my shitty music.

Nathan Fielder was at Timothee Chalamet’s birthday party and I really hope that’s the plot of the Rehearsal Season 3.

I respect that the new season of Stranger Things leaned into the aging of the cast by opening with Will’s colonoscopy.

No PA, only revolution.

The insurgency began and you missed it.

I wish this was one shirt.

We are revving up to get revved up!

Wall Street lost six TRILLION dollars this week. So… hear me out… maybe money isn’t real.

I would’ve respected him more if he crashed the economy to record a solo album.