Musings of a Fluffy Orb

// mh -

Still feeling crummy.. 😟

Especially to those of you that have went for months (or years, even) without conversation and still see me as a friend, thank you 🥺💖

So uh, this may sound a bit sappy wappy but thanks to all of you who still think of me, I see you and appreciate you; I'm sorry for being so boring fgdfhghjf

// mh -

I will admit, I feel like I've stagnated significantly in recent years. The conversational ability I had prior to my college dropout has diminished. I've also been having trouble maintaining friendships. Staying relevant, especially.

// mh -

Ah yes, the question of the night: is it the fact I've expended a lot of energy at work today or the occasional depressive thoughts resurfacing again

But alas, the show must go on

// mh-

Especially with all the times I put myself in front of my phone or pen display tablet, the drive to make art feels almost.. nonexistent

// mh -

Been feeling largely uninspired, focusing a lot more toward work + financial stuff more than usual lately

// mh -

Was about to go into some depressive rambling but stopped myself bc I'm tired and probably shouldn't trust any nighttime thoughts after 9pm

// mh -

It's gotten to the point where phone reminders mean jack unless I can follow my routine uninterrupted and, lately, it's been the opposite

// mh -

Though I think it's mostly bc of the fact I forgot to take bupro for two consecutive days

// mh -

About to fall into a certain rabbit hole of existentiality

// ph ~

So it may have not been a cold but rather a bad GERD episode? Which I addressed in the worst possible way btw (cough syrup) so I'm paying the price for it but starting to feel a lot better now. Ginger peach tea to the rescueeee

// ph -

Oogh, I think I made a good decision on skipping class for tonight. Here comes the low fever.

"Ah, now that's a convenient domain hack for very cheap, what's the catch--"
*Domain contact information must be made public, no WHOIS data privacy services can be used*
"Ah."

Also that was only the rear brake pads; I did the front ones this X-Mas Day and it's all done now :>

Mine wasn't very much but hope y'all are having a Merry X-Mas Day

// ~

Did DIY brake pad replacement successfully today and I feel like noodles rn but at least I can drive my car more comfortably now yayyyy

// mh +

Actually. It will happen. That's my mentality going forward. Even if I have to drop one for the other. Even if I'm told "no." I just need to advocate for myself. That's my resolution going into next year. I will drop the midwest a visit.

// kink ment

Just ordered some self-indulgent clone TF art 😈

Esta bien hasta ahora. Estoy practicar los básicos. Quiero ser más fluidez en el futuro.

Picked up Bu/su/u recently bc trying to resume my Spanish studies..

// mh ~

It's the least I can do, especially considering I was allowed to fly to Louisiana on my own this year for a seminar.

// mh ~

Ehhhh. Sorry for my rant earlier. Was having one of those nights again. While I still feel like there's barriers, I'm going to see if I can make it a possibility next year. And the next year if not. And so on.

Just saved about $50 repairing a lighting fixture for our aquatic turtles that had corroded + oxidized sockets. Now they're working like new. Yay. :3

No joke, I struggle with keeping up with cleaning my room a lot. There's one day I will do it, but the dust/dander/hair *always* comes back in less than a week and it becomes an afterthought for weeks, or months. Our air handler is not doing enough to filter most of it out.

Finally made the leap and bought myself an air purifier. This has been the elephant in my room for two decades, especially living with our pets in the house.

// mental health ~

It's probably the soda I drank against my better judgement lately but was powering through mild anxiety at work today. It was all ok in the end.

// mental health -

I know I'm supposed to get in touch with my local psychiatrist so they can better understand my situation and make any adjustments if needed. My weekday routine makes this very difficult.

// mental health -

.. maybe I'm being a little hard on myself. But y'know? I feel like this has occurred more than once in the past month.