Brookiosaur

"the kingdom will come under threat"

girl i didn't know my name was kingdom 🥴

Gonna start a Thing about how wisconsin fitting so nicely into minnesota is concrete proof of God

why brew some crack when u could crack some brews 🍻

those hockey romance books should be should be about a woman hockey player dating a male figure skater because what's the point if it doesn't feel a little queer

YAOI is what tom would probably say if jerry hammered his thumb haha i love those guys

I'm hesitant to invest police dollars into those boston dynamics robots until they can replace officers for critical tasks like beating their wives

A ray that turns people into horned sheep would have Shocking Ramifications

The director's cut, you say? Oh, well i suppose it IS hollywood🤷‍♀️

sisyphus with kidney stones

you ever think abt how "no shit sherlock" could've been a jab at his inability to poop as an opium addict

liberals will be like "your strategy pales in comparison to mine, boycotting chik-fil-a" and then not boycot chik-fil-a

This woman rises out of the damp earth to argue with stones and the thin air for the midnight hours until at dawn she wanders back down into the dank marshy ground leaving not a trace of her passage

What if acupuncture could unblock a dog's chakras, making it become ensouled & start talking like Scooby Doo

he's butlering judith server

(synonyms provided via wiktionary dot com)

I did so good keeping a toddler quiet whilst scrounging for my lost appendages

had a dream about hiding from nazis in an attic. Apparently when put in that scenario i'll cut off three of my fingers with safety scissors

damn these hot cakes are selling like feetpics

no way they fit Clifford on a plane

thank you for the explanation, this website is so immersive it's like im really there eating it myself

I'm trying to visualize this, did you eat the first half of the baconator, or did you finish off the second half of a previously half-eaten baconator

miss is sippi on a baja blast rn

My allegiance to the feminist cause is rock solid, and definitely not a mix of adhd laziness and an armpit fetish

im like if a tomboy and a faggot had a baby

My earliest book was Red Hat Green Hat Oops

pain by king princess?

Elon's intact virility is an embarrassment to the administration, bucking the long & storied tradition of advisors becoming eunuchs in a process known as wisdommaxxing

target shipping label addressed to "miaomiao dong"

#t4t
trans catgirls got me rabid for

WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THAT ROOSTERS ARE CREATURES THAT ROOST AND A ROOST IS A CHICKEN PERCH AND IT COMES FROM DUTCH hshjdhkrdjgsfjgsscj

Rather than crawling through the desert repenting, I let the soft animal of my body love what it loves. But the soft animal in question is a whale whose hunger for squid is boundless

Someone bring me a microscope, a vial of cum, and some spermicide. I wanna watch those fuckers die