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ladders belong to the group of objects that can sense fear, like eyeliners, or scissors

have I been but forging my own branding-iron, then?

räder wertlos! räder stock im keller!

throw a bunch of eggs at some Italian tenors

two halves of the same coin

people who have cats will use snapchat

ravens black jersey white pants is such a horrendously ugly combo who allows this

new labour? i thought it was called a c-section

when i tell people i do puppyplay they almost always underestimate the das kleine ich bin ich-ness of the whole getup

one more sober weeknight and my brains are all over the concrete dude

sometimes i see a picture of a woman and i go omg she looks like sabrina carpenter and then sometimes it is

tua looks concussed and the game hasnt even started

bills by 500

girls that sing from the top step, rarely wear winning heels

sie hat nicht nur einen job, nein, sie ist auch noch eine lesbe

if you don’t like the teethy head you‘re gonna hate the sucker-punching

i see myself as something of a bobby brown type figure

gras ist auch so eine feminine droge männer sollten nicht highbsein die müssen immer aufpassen

therapy is one of those ideas that is good conceptually but never can be executed properly in reality like Communism or the female orgasm

beautiful friday night… and my tits? entirely ungrabbed

hey whats up guys today were creating life out of happiness and happiness out of life

uppies for eternity

if you wear a suit to university im stealing something out of your house

im getting naked just for bread im going vollporntoast

gleitsichtbrille so ein wilder look, ich glaube ich wäre lieber blind

fuck i forgot 9/11

phone, wallet, keys, collar

history professors try not to spend two hours defining the name of the lecture challenge: impossible difficulty

this is true, few people have been saying this

Freedom of information? How about freedom FROM information! There's been a lot goin on